Helpa Helpa Helps the Kiiiiiids

Totally worth it. You can't watch the video at the end until you watch the hilarious interviews from the kids.

The Shaming of Flash Jordan

"Oh my god what the EFF is that?"
I'm on the other side of Kylae's loft but I can hear him clearly.
"Flash! Is that poop? What.. what the what? What IS THAT?"

I walk over and look down at whatever his dog has done.
(sigh)


This sums it up.

The Tie Tuseday I Wasn't There

Today I am in Los Angeles for a work event that's going to be AWWWWWWESOOOOOME!

That said, I think Adame and Utah miss me.

They're feeling a little sideways though.

Haunted High School Quotes

Let's not blow this. Get back on the horse.
What if I blow it? We'll give you a push big boy!
So what do you guys do for fun? I've had enough practice for one day.
What the hell was that? FrankenFrogs.
We are way, way deeper than that, man. Don't let me needle you.
That much ectoplasmic activity could be the answer for earthquakes!
You're setting yourself up for Polterbush!
(hubs says: they feed on fear. I'd say, 'bitch, you need to see a dermatologist.')
Okay, I gotta destroy the rings. Do I need to put them in a volcano or something?
(hubs says: where's Frodo when you need him?)
Times up bitch! Times up! Acid is a bad trip.
Can Whitney Doulas please report to the morgue.

Omg this movie is craptastic.

OMFG YOU MUST LOVE THIS BAND! SERYN

Seriously. Listen to the whole thing.
They're just up the road in Denton, Texas.
I don't know how to see them live, but I'll start googling to find out.
Craig Ferguson has to hear this.


91.7 has been playing it, I'm probably late on the band wagon (pun intended) as usual.
ADAME! Have your heard this?

Saturday Boot Camp - NO AMAZON AMY?

Chopped @ Eck Abode

I am a fan of the show Chopped. Chef-testants have 20 minutes to make an appetizer using ingredients from the "mystery basket". Should their dish taste and look the best, incorporating all the mystery items (usually 4) then they get to move on and make an entree. The worst meal gets eliminated. Same thing happens until you have two Chefs remaining to compete over dessert, new mystery baskets each round.

That's the setup for the next part of this posting. 

I've had an unusual few weeks at work which have led me to coming home much later than usual. Instead of home at 5:30 or 6pm, I'm walking through the door much closer to 7.  This has effected my internal clock and I've had my blood sugar all over the map.  I'm finally starting to get a handle on it. So now that we've adjusted to eating later (instead of the usual 6pm meal) I'm getting home to cook as quickly as I can. 

Enter Chopped. 

Hubster had the brilliant idea to create a mystery basket. So now, I walk into the house and see what's on the counter, Hubs sets the timer for 30 minutes, and I'm off!*

AND THE MYSTERY INGREDIENTS ARE:

- flank steak

- white onion

- Mozzarella pearls

- French bread

Well, this one was a no brainer. I think he was being easy on me since I had a challenging day.

Sliced the onions and added some mushrooms, into the skillet and added a dash of white wine. 

Halved the bread and cut into halves again. Turned on the oven boiler to get a nice toast. Added some of the mozzarella pearls to get nice and gooey.

Flank steak in the cast iron, seasoned with salt and pepper, cooked to medium rare.

Pulled the steak onto the wooden cutting board to rest. Tossed remaining pearls into the onion/mushroom mixture. Pulled the bread from the broiler and placed the onion/mushroom down on the toasts. Sliced the steak into slivers, added to the toast and VIOLA!

Hubs got his quasi-Philly steak and cheese sub!  Needless to say, I won the competition. Granted, there were no other Chefs... but still.

*I should note that i LOVE to cook. It's not that Hubs cannot cook instead, he can... pretty much. But if I cook, I know it's healthy and tasty. His cooking is a little on the tasty/salty/fatty side and he tends to make a giant mess. 

Quadruple Music Friday - Mumford & Sons, Electric Guest, Cas Haley, The Lumineers

This is just waiting for  it's own playlist.



Thanks to Adame for finding this song.


Even if Utah doesn't like reggae, I do. So there.


And this one is way too much fun.

The Most White Trash Shopping Trip Ever

I'm leaving Monday for a week in California (for work) and reminded Hubster this morning.

Me: Don't forget babes, I'm gone for a week. Figure out what you need to survive while I'm gone.
Hubs: Okay, leave me the card and I'll go shopping.

I'm thinking he will get sammich meat and bread, some soda pops, maybe a movie or something.

Nope.

Here is what he bought at Wally-World

500 rounds of ammo
Bleach
Fabuloso
Duster
Mop
18 bottles of Sprite
8 Marie Calendar chicken pot pies
6 Hungry Man dinners
smokes
and gum.

OMG. What am I coming home to?

SYTYCD - Top 10 Review

***WARNING*** This post is a little more "stream of consciousness" . I was tired, drinking, and didn't feel like making it all pretty pretty.

OMG Kat, you're wearing a disco ball. Hubster is more polite and says it looks like chain mail. Your stylist should be shot.

The Cool World Stomp (Reprise) - Mark Isham
This week we get the top 10 for the season plus all-stars from past years. We're starting out the group number on a "Gene Kelly" movie set. I bet only half of the dancers can name GK movies other than Singing in the Rain and White Christmas (the most racist movie title of all time.)
It's the 40s slash 50s. Dancers have garbage can lids on their feet. There goes the Cracker Jack kid and a bunch of sailors.  Ooooo, I get it. It's a combination of GK's famous works. Hello Broadway. This lacks excitement or chutzpah. All the female dancers hate the chick in green. I'm over it.

Bee tee dubs, Gene Kelly's widow looks 40. GK, you sly dog you! Kat says something while I'm typing and Hubster says "whole. nother. level." Nerely wee'd my pants.

Doria Sanchez routine
she says its fun studio 54. oh crap disco
Tiffany and all star Brandon
11 lifts. ELEVEN
you make me feel by cobra starship feat. sabi
she's disco princess lea without the hair buns
ahead of the beat
she's bendy
that's gotta give you a neck ache
judge screams "ugh" when judge screams. she does it on purpose! mary murphy
she looks like she's 11!!

Travis Wall routine
they are ghosts
Whitney and Nick from S1
Sing it Back - Moloko
true blood and vamparkle makeup
great moves. stop looking at audience if you are a ghost.
he looks like a freaking zombie

cole "asian edward cullen" and all star anaya chacha
dmitry chapman
glad you came - the wanted
omg how are they allowed to wear those outfits? anya is blue porn star barbie. did you get that at fredricks of hollywood?
mary murphy has cool ring though
shirt open distracts me
he looks full of himself
good dancing


lindsay and jakob omg you have super gaydar voice "its sooo hard to see whats happening with that screen"
spencer liff
what is with her michael jackson glove?
a shadow owes its birth to light, so you have to shine
*jazz hands*
jakob is gay eric from true blood
me and my shadow. should have seen it coming
stiff neck
bob fosse feel good
judges not saying anything mean

bollywood with all star kathryn and will
choreo by nakul
snake charmer. will has a flute and charming me in
ooh la la - the dirty picture
he's better than she is
fantastic
play the will ferrell jazz flute
horrible beaded headband though

travis wall routine
black dude with big earlobes
jenny all star
apocolyptic
cyrus
outro - M83
hard routine best so far
tits exposed

benjamin judge is bland who is he? no good feedback

cryus has wonky eyes

cheon joins all star lauren in a dave scott hiphop routine
pretty wings- maxwell
cheon is a fluffy haired harry connick


george with astar allison
tyce deorio routine
1920s paris
missing the train
bahamut - hazmat modine
no one in 1920s paris dressed like that
she sure flips her hair a lot
how very french
pencil line douchebag moostache

elianna with allstar alex
elianna is gums mcgee - she's got gums, theyre multiplying
stacy tookey
contemporary song about a relatiosnhip too hard to leave
bangbang (my baby shot me down) - nancy sinatra
not sure why there was a tree there
really good
standing o
alex who hurt himself and i want him back

twitch and audrey
dave scott routine
400 year old couple who love and hate each other
sincerely, jane - janelle monae
best of the night
coffin.
she was great as twitch!
watched it twice
entertaining

the girls are all the same height
people got booted.
bed

Chubby Wan Learners

Woke up at 6 am and the Boopins were extra snuggly and alert. For pugs, that's saying quite a lot as their usual regime is: wake up around 10, eat and drink, waddle outside for a stroll, mark their territory on the English Butler, poops, then back inside to the couch or biddy beddy for a nap. Sleep 6 hours. Repeat.

As we have previously discussed, we have our own language in the Eckert Abode. Wabba Dem Hoobies! One of the expressions I forgot was Chubby Wan Learners. That's another name for the Boops. (Boops. Boopins. Chubby Wan Learners. All inter-changeable.) Unless you are Trish the Dish, you should be fairly aware of Obi Wan Kenobi, Yoda and the Padawan Learners. (Adame, ask Trish if she knows what a Padawan Learner is and wait for the look of confusion.)

(As I typed this, Hubster came up behind me and snapped my bra strap. WTF? Are you twelve?!)

Back to the story... so we call them Chubby Wan Learners and they have their own song. Depending on your level of awesomeness, you will get the reference.  This is me, singing in the dark to Moocha.

A couple of Jebus moments.

Saturday morning I had boot camp with Amazon Amy. Since the weather was “nice” she thought we should start off with some laps around the building. (“Nice” being only 90 degrees.) I had a new, fresh playlist for the hour and it motivated the six of us. It was the usual gang (Red, Mike, Dennis, me) and two n00bs – a black couple in their thirties, didn’t get their names. Mike especially liked it when we got to “The Cave” by Mumford and Sons. Noted! Will get n00bsters names next week. I actually lapped them in the work out, so they're going to need to catch up. I excelled in abs and flexibility, not so much on cardio. I swear, if you removed all this chub, I'd have a rocking six pack.

After the workout, Hubster and I went to Bullet Trap for some funsies. Didn't even shower, went all grubby since I'd get GSR all over me anyway. When we got there, the line was ridiculously long and a 30 minute wait. WTF peeps? Ya’ll wanna go shooting on the same day at the same time now? Jebus. I was informed that my driver’s license had expired and technically they shouldn't let me on the range, BUT since I’m a member, it would slide THIS time. Thanks guys! We got lane 9 between two couples who couldn't shoot in the red at yards. Jebus. Either I'm getting MUCH better or they really stunk. Maybe it was a first date thing, I hear that's popular.

So now I have to get a new license. Today, went first thing to the DMV, or as Texas calls it: the Department of Public Safety. What they are trying to be safe about, I haven’t the foggiest. Monday morning and the line was at least 100+ people deep.

Left Hubster in the line (since he had to renew his as well) and went off to get some breakfast and a coffee. Came back with and got in line with him, he’d moved up quite a bit. He looks down at me and says “Really? You got Chik-Fil-A?” And I said loudly, “Oh crap. I bought homophobic food. Jebus!” *shakes fist at the sky* I only ate the chicken, threw the biscuit, tots and coffee away. Not that it makes it better, but it was symbolic. (The chicken died for my stomach, so I felt compelled to honor its death. The tater tots? Not so much.*)

Two hours later, we got out of there. But not before Hubs almost didn’t pass the eye test. That would have sucked.

A hysterical conversation about carrying a weapon and protecting one’s bum was had on the way home, but I cannot repeat any of it here. Let’s just sum up: I was right, he was not so right. My bum is insecure whilst walking to the truck after work.

So I get to work and Bueno told me that she’s looking for the Jew-pacabra and I almost lost it. You’ll have to ask her to explain, or read her blog if/when she posts it.

And this afternoon was wrapped up by a ridiculous conversation including super straight golf balls, why Chik-Fil-A would love them, Steve Carrell, and urinal cakes. I know... you have no idea how we got from Chik-Fil-A to urinal cakes either, but we did. JJ summed it up best with "I'm not going to take drinking advice from a urinal cake."

Finally, I had to get a new bike helmet to protect my "big brain" (as Hubs calls it) so I made a stop at Wally World. (Jebus, I hate Wally World.) I was hoping for a super cute, fun one, but they don't make them in adult sizes. So I ended up with this:

I think I have a Dudley Do-Right chin in this pic. But, as Bueno would say, my eyebrows look fantastic!

Until the West Nile mosquitos are gone and it's not Agent Orange rated allergens outside, my new helmet is living on The David.

He's got a lot going on. 

*I wouldn’t eat tater tots anyway because they are bad for you and fattening and make me have to work out harder with Amazon Amy.
Well, maybe I had one or two...

My Breakfast Submission

From: Adame
Sent: Friday, August 17, 2012 8:03 AM
To: Breakfast Club Peeps
Subject: Breakfast



Who is the most Awesome person on the Marketing team who brought breakfast today????



ECKERT is!!



Come on down to the Marketing and Sales department for your taco! There are enough for everyone to have 2, so hurry up, as I can’t count to two.

(I brought Fuzzy's Tacos: Bacon, Potato, Shrimp)

SYTYCD recap - Top 14

What we learned... Mia Michaels routines are better the first time around.

Recognizing the time, not the "good" part of it

Because I have three readers (hugs) and comments from Adame (super hugs, when is the shooting/Franconia tasting, yo?) I will say this...

I didn't pass MENSA.
I haven't lost the weight.
I was a moody prick today.
But Harry Potter makes it all better.

And drinks.

Long live Saporo beer and kisses from Hubster and Boopins.
G

My Brain Wouldn't Shut Up - 5:30am

I have to finish that deck.

What if no one shows up at the Polo game?

It’s too hot, I need to take off this blanket.

The trick to nekkid sleeping is keeping your butt covered.

Maybe I’d be more comfortable with the blankets all the way on up to my neck but my feet sticking out the bottom?

If an alien showed up right now to take me and the boopins off to another planet, I’d totally go.

Why is Tommy deaf, dumb and blind? That’s too much for one kid.

I want an espresso.

Did I transfer the sheets into the dryer?

Urgh, I cannot forget to pay that bill this morning.

Maybe I should get up and go to the gym.

I wish I could wake up without belly fat.

I want to stay here in bed.

Music Monday: Phillip Phillips - Home

Heard this song during the Olympics recap.
It's lovely.
I bought it.
Someone really named their kid Phillip Phillips?
I guess he was on American Idol or something.

Coffee and Such

On Monday, all I cared about was the weather.

I'm sick of these triple degree heat days.

On Tuesday, I wanted to run away from Dallas on a jet plane.

The hand sanitizer is ever present after watching Contagion.

Today's last resort is to hope that I'm secretly a witch with magical powers and can perform Aquamendi.

 Apparently my Barrista hasn't read Harry Potter.

Harminey Granger: You sing a C and I'll take 1/3 above that, m'kay?

In other news, I finally dropped a Facebook "Friend" and feel pretty good about that decision.

Not because of their postings or anything,  it was just terribly hypocritical to say they are my "friend" when I don't really give a flying rats patootie about them.

Multiple Music Monday

Mystery Jets - Greatest Hits



XTC - A Ballet For a Rainy Day



Both from Adame.
Thanks yo.

On Horses, Guns and Arnold. Not Related.

Debating with the Hubster about the Equestrian portion of the Olympics. Does the rider just train, hold the reigns and guide? Is that as athletic as a runner? Does it require the skill and finesse of a diver? Shouldn't the pony get the gold, they do all the work?

If I had more energy, I would research all this. But I'm still exhausted from the ridiculous two hour boot camp yesterday morning. Oh Amazon Amy, you are so evil.

We went to the range with Brad and Devo, I spent 20 minutes before I had to get out of there. The heat was too much. It was crowded (Church of Shooting is pretty popular on Sunday morning.) And someone was firing a cannon.

Now I have a hankering to watch the original Total Recall but I can't find it on Fios.

Sleepy. Weird week

Today is my birthday

I'm 34 today. It's not a special number or anything.

I didn't get any presents.

Or cards.

Turning 34 is interesting because 34 of my Facebook friends said some version of "Happy Birthday" on my timeline and some of them were pretty funny. (I liked Bueno's comment "This should be a National Holiday" the best.) It's National Clown Week. I effing HATE Clowns. And Zombies. Especially Clombies.

I had seven calls; three of which I was able to answer since I was at a work off site*. (KylAE, Devo and Brad actually got a hold of me. Kudos to Karla for the first call... and both Mom and Biggie Sue for singing. I totes saved the message from Glo cause not only did she 1) give birth to me but 2) has an awesome off-key and gloriously happy singing voice.) And my work peeps did wish me a HBD when I arrived. Not to mention, Trish the Dish spent 4 hours laboring over those those amaze-balls cinnamon rolls.

Two text messages. Devo gets bonus points for being the first to text and wish me a Happy Birthday, (before my husband BTW. 6:45 am!) and then following up with a call.

The Boopins didn't care as long as they got lovins when I got home.

Hubs gave me a big check to deposit into savings and then promised that we'd do something artsy with fine dining next weekend.


Am I the new Molly Ringwald, lamenting about her birthday in the digital age?


I guess I just wanted a candle on something. And people smiling at me that I was special today.
But I suppose all those HBD wishes I put on other peoples FB walls  on their special day feel the same.

The older I get, the more I yearn for connection. Yet, as connected we are at a touch of the keypad, the less we are truly intimately bonded.



*I'd like to note that the new regime says we get to take off work for our birthday ... yet I still had to "work" on my birthday.

Fun with Paint

A few days ago, KelBel sent out a fun email with a bunch of random facts in it.

This was the first "fact". 

All it did was make me want a Big Mac.

Today, Trish the Dish brought in homemade cinnamon rolls from the Pioneer Woman stole my Grandma Oklahoma's  recipe.

 

It was my birthday request (which is tomorrow... you still have 24 hours to buy me something. Imjustsayin.)

And since I needed to check the nutritional facts so I knew how much insulin I need...

(skip this part if you don't want to scream in horror)

 OH MY FLIBBERTY GIBBERTY SUGARY BALLS!!! AREYOUFREAKINGKIDDINGME?!?!?!

So I made this.

What happens in the village, stays in the village

G string my ass was showing
Watching you my d€%k is growing
Where do you think we are boning baby?

Hey, I just met you
So don't be lazy
Grab a condom
Olympic village baby

Starting off the day

Clearly my colorful personality and influence is rubbing off on Parul.

The girl used to always wear monochrome black and white, maybe some khaki if she was feeling adventureous. But behold! RED! In a ridiculously flattering cut.

I think we are only five months away from seeing green or tie-dye.

And I decided to have a cup of coffee since I'm feeling all blargy.

Trish saw me pour the work Starbucks into a stryo...

(sigh)

And KelBel is back from Bean Town and brought us back an awesome gift.

It's a long way... to the shop... if you want a lobstah rooooooooll!

How cool is a pencil with lobstahs all over it, then a big gummy lobstah on the end?

LOB-STAH!

ROCK LA HAAAAAAAA HAB STAH!