Overheard in the Office: The New Carpet Installation Version

Things my officemate said that made me laugh uncontrollably.

• I'm going to say something that will sound like the biggest hipster ever. 
• I was a beta user for Pinterest.
• How many babies are in this recipe?
• Bobby came over and we decided to watch Napoleon Dynamite. Then we watched it again in Spanish. It was so good!
• Can I play a song? - Go for it, I'm leaving for a while. 
• I don't want to substitute a kid in a cape with Jesus in a cape. 
• Dancing for Christ!
• Drawer 5 is ALIVE!
• CW6 ends news programming because they couldn't land the Omar story at the Kroc Center. 
• Our team name is "I love oats". My mom loved oatmeal. She was all about it. 
• I have 5 pounds of carrots at my house right now. 
• So listening to this is like chalk? - Yeah, kinda.
• There was no option to not cut off her head. 
• You're not super... and you're old. 
• Jesus on ICE!
• I hate that pan flute dance music!
• I have turned into a pencil snob. 
• To be honest, I'm a big bird person anyway. 
• I mean, I like to go to the barber and get a nice pampering or whatever. 
• If they want to know what it is, they can just go and find out later.