Thursday, April 10, 2014

How To Lose My Business In :30

*knock at my door*

50-ish gentleman in a nice suit standing outside my door with a smile and a brochure. I sense salesman.

He: Hello ma'am. I'm so-and-so from such-and-such and wanted to talk to you* about X. How are you today?

Me: (warily) Fine, and you?

He: Well I'm just dandy**! I'm here today because we're having a spectacular deal that your neighbors have been taking advantage of and wanted you to learn more.*** Is your husband home?****

* Talk to me? Or talk at me? Not talk with me?
** No one says dandy.
*** I don't care what my neighbors are buying. I don't even know my neighbors.
**** What does that have to do with anything? Why would he need to be here? What if he just passed away tragically and you reminded me of it. Or, what if I was a lesbian?

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