January Wall Quotes

Here's a recap of the latest work sayings that made it on "The Wall".

What's that beeping? (it's me) We're going to call you G-3P0 from now on. 
I'd be Cap'n Crunch... cause I like the hat. 
What's that pregnancy hormone? THC?
Teamwork makes the dream work!
And then I came out of the closet...
Love is like a fart. If you have to push it, it's probably s**t. 
Can I tell you how much fun I has taking out your balls and playing with them?

RELEASE THE SCRAPPLE!
If it burns when you pee, you gotta stop.
(singing) I second that emulsion!
I look much, much better when I have a bra on.
(How to make a flow chart for labor) PUSH! Did it come out? NO. PUSH! Did it come out? NO.
Sorry, but I'm not the only person in this room who's had a penis in his mouth. 
(Turning on the screen saver to a fireside scene.) I figuratively, and quite literally, keep the fire going!
Being pregnant is like being stoned 24/7 with the munchies.
It's like the Last Supper! But with less dying. 

That smells great! What is that?
Island Nectar.
Eyelid nectar?
Eyelid nectar, the tears of god...

It's DANCE OFF PANTS OFF!
I knew something in the milk ain't clean!
(singing) Feeling Grube!
No, it's in there but you're going to push it to the side. 
They could get lei'd!
I'ma be his Christian Grey!
You have it in your mouth, but you're probably going to spit it out...
That's why you need to be friends with Barbara and get access to her secret closet.
It was like 50 shades of Don.
Of all the women's shoes I've tried on, those are the most comfortable. 

December Wall Quotes

These make touching more fun!

I have a backwards E.T. head.

Dylan brought the balls.

Who brought the Pig Popper?

Just looking at him, I can smell the leather.

Okay! THAT’S OVER! Time of death? SATURDAY!

Hi, I’m Jizzy Jeffcoat.

Big jugs – pause for laughter – of Vermont Maple Syrup.

Is he going to come up or are you going to go down?

You can’t do that to me! I have the brain of a 12 year-old boy.

These are high end premium balls!

So you don’t care if it is the bastard child of a high end equity farm and a cow?

You can taste and spit it out but not swallow.

What I Learned in the Month of... whatever.

South Indians have really long consonant heavy names.

Pankaj is pronounced Punk-edge.

Lengha = sari for a chubby girl.

There’s a Michael’s near me.

Adame learned about squishy poops.

In the future, everyone will have 15 minutes of privacy.

Garfield County Regional (RIL, called Rifle) is the backup FBO for Aspen.

People kill pheasants, not doggies.

Who are you and what have you done with Theresa?

Trish buys Mike his nuts.

Parul Patel’s family is in Jersey.

Vegetables are massive in Alaska.

“Doing it” for 30 minutes burns 100 calories.

The human Ken doll has had over 90 surgeries.

The One Where Parul Tells Me What I Can Eat and I Trick Her

From: Parul
Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2012 10:37 AM
Subject: A thought about food

If it comes from a plant eat it, if it made in a plant don’t! 

Just a thought :)

From: G
Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2012 11:08 AM
To: Parul
Subject: RE: A thought about food

What about seaweed?  It’s a plant, but dried out in a plant?

From: Parul
Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2012 11:13 AM
To: Eckert, Glynis
Subject: RE: A thought about food

allowed

From: G
Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2012 11:16 AM
To: Parul
Subject: RE: A thought about food

Kettle potato chips?

From: Parul
Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2012 11:17 AM
To: Eckert, Glynis
Subject: RE: A thought about food

borderline

From: G
Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2012 11:56 AM
To: Parul
Subject: RE: A thought about food

Chocolate covered pretzels?

From: Parul
Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2012 12:40 PM
To: Eckert, Glynis
Subject: RE: A thought about food

No and NO

From: G
Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2012 12:42 PM
To: Parul
Subject: RE: A thought about food

No chocolate? Wow Parul, that’s harsh!

From: Parul
Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2012 12:43 PM
To: Eckert, Glynis
Subject: RE: A thought about food

Sorry :(

5 ingredients or less…

From: G
Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2012 12:48 PM
To: Parul
Subject: RE: A thought about food

Flourless Chocolate Cake

Ingredients:

1.      4 ounces fine-quality bittersweet chocolate (not unsweetened)

2.      1 stick (1/2 cup) unsalted butter

3.      3/4 cup sugar

4.      3 large eggs

5.      1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder plus additional for sprinkling

Overheard in the Office - Q3 2012

• Water is GOOD for you!
• Is her a lot older than you? 
• I don't know how to land a plane. You don't know how to brand something. Go land a &$%&(@)# plane!
• It's called SMART but there's nothing smart about their org chart. 
• We CAN stand peeing, but we don't want to. But it's a great quad work out. 
• These people aren't camping here. 
• It's all about the human touch.
• That's why the she-urinal didn't catch on. 
• I have a date with an 85 year old. so it should wrap up early.
• Well, I don't crave dirt so....
• I couldn't get enough suger in my pie-hole.
• Oh, Bernie does! See? There's another black guy who golfs.
• Omigod, funeral homes are way too trusting.

Starting off the day

Clearly my colorful personality and influence is rubbing off on Parul.

The girl used to always wear monochrome black and white, maybe some khaki if she was feeling adventureous. But behold! RED! In a ridiculously flattering cut.

I think we are only five months away from seeing green or tie-dye.

And I decided to have a cup of coffee since I'm feeling all blargy.

Trish saw me pour the work Starbucks into a stryo...

(sigh)

And KelBel is back from Bean Town and brought us back an awesome gift.

It's a long way... to the shop... if you want a lobstah rooooooooll!

How cool is a pencil with lobstahs all over it, then a big gummy lobstah on the end?

LOB-STAH!

ROCK LA HAAAAAAAA HAB STAH!

The One Where Parul Shocks Us All

Holy Krishna in a Cheesebasket... Parul's wearing a COLOR! And it's blue! And vibrant!

I think hell hath frozen over.

Bring Your Kids to Work Day - Part One

I'll post more about today's Bring Your Kids to Work Day activities... in the mean time, say hi to my friend Parul's son, Liam.
HI!!!