Music Monday - "A Little Respect" by Erasure

True story.

I was a freshman in high school, only 14 years old, and had a crush on our marching band's 2nd Drum Major*, Kurt Aufderheide. He was blonde, blue-eyed, tall and Mormon. (Now that I think about it, I had a thing for blondes in high school.)  I do not think that I ever had a real conversation with Kurt; he was a senior like my brother and ate lunch on the upper quad, whereas I was with all the other freshmen by our lockers, too scared to leave the safety of a mass group.

One afternoon, I called our local pop radio station, Star 100.7, and requested that they play a song.  The conversation went something like this:

DJ: Star 100.7! Who is this?
Me: Ummm. Glynis?
DJ: Hey Gwyneth, what's going on?
Me: Uhhh, can you play a song for me? A Little Respect by Erasure?
DJ: Sure thing, who do you want to dedicate this too?
Me: (not expecting this) Oh, um? Kurt Aufderhide? *stunned that this came out of my mouth*
DJ: Ooo! Is this your boyfriend?
Me: NO!!!
DJ: Well does he have your number?
Me: I'm sure he can figure out where to get it.
DJ: Alright then! Here's Erasure with "A Little Respect" going out to Kurt Aufderheide from Gwyneth!



Even though the DJ called me Gwyneth, everyone knew it was me. Didn't matter though because I taped it onto a cassette (did you know they record those conversations during the commercials, not live?) and planed to give that tape to Kurt.

The next day at school, I got up the nerve to take the tape to Kurt (I think my phone number was written on the outside.) He was surrounded by a bunch of girls and somehow I got the nerve to break in and give him the tape, say a squeeky "Hi!" and run away.

He never called.

And I think he got a Mormon girlfriend a few weeks later. She was blonde, blue-eyed and played the trumpet. AND A FRESHMAN!

Where's Kurt today?

In Baghdad. Being awesome. Getting awards. And political stuff. Working on labor issues and probably solving world hunger.

Me?
Jets for the 0.01%.
Living the dream!

We won Tournament of Champions that year. 1992 Field Show. And if you don't believe how awesome marching band can be, you gotta check out this video... of us... THE EMERALD BRIGADE!



*The 2nd Drum Major is at the back of the field, so that when you march facing away from the front, you can still keep in time. 

The Dating Game (not used by permission or even based in reality)

Goooooood evening ladies and gentlemen! Tonight's single lady is Ms. Fancypants who will be going on hypothetical dates with a variety of interesting lads. All so that she can fall in love and leave her job and become a woman of leisure. You with me? GREAT! Let's get started. 

Bachelor Number One is a businessman who splits his time between Dallas and New York City. Born in  Dubai, he went to Eton College and graduated Summa cum Laude from Oxford with a Masters in Business. Speaks fluent Arabic, Farsi, French and English (but with a lovely British accent... imagine him saying "herbs" and "collecting his belongings from the trolley".) Loves his parents and little sister, enjoys mountain hiking, dining out and listening 80s music. Meet... Ammon!

Ammon will fly you to NYC for the weekend. With separate suite rooms at the Waldorf to uphold your reputation, he'll wine and dine you, take you for a lovely afternoon at the Met, carriage ride through Central Park, sweet kisses at the top of the Empire State Building.  His downfall? Well, he's just so damn NICE!  Attractive? Yes. Wealthy? God yes. But just doesn't flutter your leg warmers. Sorry Ammon... time to try Bachelor Number Two! 

Bachelor Number Two is a twenty-six year old Pharmaceutical Rep who moonlights as a fitness trainer. Surprisingly bright, he's an avid reader (well, he listens to books on tape as he runs. So that kind of counts.) He has also had some success developing products to remove unwanted body hair with some of the chemical creams he sells to plastic surgeons. (All on the down low - you need to know the secret word ... "mango".)  He frequently travels to Baja for the surfing and dreams of riding the sweet waves in South Africa.  Meet Brody!

Brody will pick you up in his door less Jeep and whisk you away to a little Mexican place he discovered one drunken evening. Incredibly flirtatious, he will gaze into your eyes (and likely at your legs) and ask you all about meaningless things. You'll have a great time and feel like a million bucks, until you realize he's wearing a silver cross around his neck. Nervously, you wonder if he's a Christian (which makes absolutely no sense when his hand is on your thigh and you're barely through your third Corona.) His answer? No ma'am, it's because of the vampires. You laugh heartily, but he doesn't join in. That's it Brody... belief in the undead is a deal breaker.  Let's go ahead and meet Bachelor Number Three!

Bachelor Number Three is a soulful musician. He sings, plays the guitar and piano, and while his persona screams "rockabilly", he's actually more of a blues guy. Grew up in Georgia on a farm in the middle of nowhere, he's the youngest of seven brothers. (And oh yes, he has a loverly southern twang that could melt icicles off of Santa's netherbits.) Though he's a night person, he likes to spend his free time in the park flying a kite and spouting impromptu haikus about TV shows. Meet.... Jack!

Jack is a pretty chill dude. He'd take off his leather jacket and drape it around you if you're cold, then dance around you and sing a love song. He'll take you on the first date to a little speakeasy where you'd try absinthe, wax philosophically about Ayn Rand and The Peanuts, then laugh merrily as he takes the stage to perform a number inspired by your eyes. He's a good bloke. Sexy? Yes. Dresses well? You betcha. And he has perfectly coiffed hair. You run your hands through it to muss it up and he doesn't care. Is he a keeper? Who knows... but he doesn't own TV or have Internet capability. Plus, he sleeps on the floor with a duvet. Yeeeeaaaaaah, you're a little over that scene. 

But that's all we've got for the Friday Evening Date Night! Tune in next week where we meet a Martial Artist, a Chef and a really hot guy who weaves baskets and chants.

Thanks folks! We outtie!