2011 : The Wall Wrapup

Nothing good comes from condoms and woodchips.
I am Trish Farley. I can say these things.
He could be constipated for all I know.
Some people have dashing good looks, some people have hard nips. I have both.
So we keep tugging and never finish?
Kiril, come here so I can smell you.
Are you pregnant or just fat?
I’m a slutty slut.
(whispering) And we’re with a “black” guy!
Don’t you want to just touch it! – Yes, it amazes me.
I’ve gotten older with age.
I’ve give you some honey but my honey got hard
I have to use the bathroom (operated by…)
What did I learn last night? You’re much nicer when you’re drunk.
He’s screwing us with porcupine needles and no grease!
Does he whack people? – Depends on your interpretation of “whack”.
You had me at pilot.
How do you spell Pocahontas? - Very carefully.
Oh, I got a mouthful from a pilot - A mouthful of what?

What I Learned in the month of December

On the 12th Day of Christmas, my workmates taught me...

Christmas trees are only "mildly" toxic.
There is no Gary Phenomenon.
Triple in Italian is triplo.
There are 17 carbs in a Grande Peppermint Mocha.
Mantequilla is Spanish for butter.
How to write my name in Macedonian.
Marketing accounts for 20 million US jobs.

Whooooooo is looking for a jaawwwwwwwb!

AKB48 is sixty Japanese girls singing.
Why Joe Black has an office.
It's good to bring in beer.

... and a partridge in a pear tree!

When Duckie Met Leo

I heard through the grapevine that Doug may have had a rough day this week. Thought it might be time to brighten his day with a communicae from his pal Duckie. At some point, I'm going to return the duck to his desk, but not quite yet.

Dear Doug,

I made a new friend on the road. His name is Leo. He’s funny and a bit flashy, but still pretty cool. And he makes an amazing strawberry shortcake.

Normally, I would worry about the whole “He’s going to eat me” thing, but I feel pretty confident that Leo’s not that kind of guy.

Hope you’re doing well, Doug. You could always write me a note and see if it can get delivered to me while I’m still touring the country. Otherwise, I’ll try to get back to your cube soon for a visit.

Yours, Duckie

Duck Duck Goose

It’s gotten even funnier. At this point, Doug is chasing after the mail delivery peeps and demanding answers. (Fortunately, they have great senses of humor and are toying with him.) Here was today’s note…







Dear Doug,
I finally made it off the island. Thought I would come back and visit you, but got a little distracted. Check out the wing span on that guy! I should have migrated by now but that pesky kidnapping got in the way. So what’s my incentive to come back to your desk with all the other toys?
Love
Duckie

Not sure where we will go from here, but it's still entertaining. Maybe Duckie will meet a celebrity?

Ducky Goes Wild

The Duck Prank continues.

I had to bring Adame into the fold as he has a smart phone with a camera (and cause he totally rocks!) This week, we took Ducky outside to the volleyball court and plopped him in the sand. Next, we added a little fruity umbrella that I have been saving from a DELICIOUS cupcake Trish the Dish made a little while back. The effect was perfect, I just needed to come up with an idea of why Ducky was no longer kidnapped.



Dear Doug,
I was able to escape from my kidnappers and stow away on a boat! But now I'm on a deserted island and I don't know how to get home. Help me!
Love, Ducky

My spies tell me that Doug was wandering around the third floor looking for anyone who had a zen sand garden on their desk. *smacks head* Looks like we're going to have to find a legitimate place to hide Ducky next week. Right now he's hiding out in my cupboard.

Suggestions welcome.

I stole a duck and I liked it

I decided to play a harmless prank on a colleague, Doug. (Have no fear my three readers, am pretty sure he doesn't even know I write this bloggity blog blog. And this is a really harmless prank.)

I happened to be on the 3rd floor and walked by his cube on my way to a meeting. His desk is covered in stuff: legos, toys, monster machines, food, papers... and a duck. The duck was staring at me. It reached out to me with its bitty, black plastic eyes and pleaded for rescue. I didn't know what I would do with it, I just knew I wanted it.

So I liberated the duck. Thought he could come live with me upstairs with my Cowardly Lion Pez dispenser, Ladybug egg timer and rubber Menehune.* He seems happy. I haven't named him, but am learning towards Ducky (a la Pretty in Pink. Which is appropriate because I just heard Otis Redding's 'Try a Little Tenderness' on the radio today.)

So he's in my cube. Rather smuggly happy in his Duckiness. I did send a secret and not-to-be-traced note to Doug about Ducky...



...don't worry though, I won't really hurt him. Now I just need to figure out how to send the next picture showing Ducky on the beach with an umbella, like he got away from his attackers. Thoughts?

*Think of them as the leprechauns of Hawaii. And he's got his butt exposed. It's pretty awesome.