Saturday, December 31, 2011
Christmas trees are only "mildly" toxic.
There is no Gary Phenomenon.
Triple in Italian is triplo.
There are 17 carbs in a Grande Peppermint Mocha.
Mantequilla is Spanish for butter.
How to write my name in Macedonian.
Marketing accounts for 20 million US jobs.
Whooooooo is looking for a jaawwwwwwwb!
AKB48 is sixty Japanese girls singing.
Why Joe Black has an office.
It's good to bring in beer.
... and a partridge in a pear tree!
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
What did you listen to in the 80s?
Adame inspired this pick based on my outfit.
Green tshirt with a skull on it, black steampunk vest, black satin poof skirt, and green converse. My hair is all fro-ey today too.
I'll post a pick if I get someone to take one.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
I've always loved The Barenaked Ladies; ever since I was introduced to them in the early nineties by Mike Crew, who loved to sing "If I Had $1,000,000. In fact, that might be part of the reason why I liked Mike, because he always introduced me to new music and movies.
Currently hooked on this show, The Big Bang Theory, where I honestly believe that the writers are peaking into my home and secretly videoing my friend's parties. Otherwise, how would you know this stuff? Nerds rule.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Check out the video. Within two seconds the hairs on my arms were tingling. Just the sound of the twinkling 'do-do-do-do' from Back to the Future makes you lean closer into your screen. And then the wheels. The Flux Capacitor. The feet! THE CANE! OMFSLARTIBARTFAST I HAVE TO SEE THIS MOVIE!!!
I donated $250 to get this made. The LEAST you can do is donate a couple of bucks. COME ON!!!
Adame was all like "I'm going to rock this shizz with meh coat on!"
Utah said I looked prettier last week (um ... burn?)
And KelBel thought my paisley tie was retro awesome.
At Starbucks, my drink is a doppio espresso con panna. But when I want another shot, I tell them a tripio. Which is what I ordered today. I thought I should actually learn what the Italian word for triple is. It's triplo. And how did I learn this? By googling, of course. What was more entertaining is the very first link that comes up is the definition of Italian for Triple... is for Urban Dictionary. (Not exactly safe for work)
Monday, December 5, 2011
Friday, December 2, 2011
The new James Bond movie is titled “Skyfall”
Umbrellas made in New York City are terrible
I forgot Tie Tuesday
Best Buy lies
A timbale of eggplant = mold that looks like a drum
Tom used to procure caviar
Avantair yearend is June 30th
An axiom is a self-evident truth that requires no proof
All My Boots Need New Soles = a country song Trish came up with
What “pie in the sky” means
Panem et circuses = bread and circuses
Porsche logo is “there is no substitute”
496,000 US homes have a net worth of $30 million dollars
The Wynn in Las Vegas charges $100 for a haircut
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
I made a new friend on the road. His name is Leo. He’s funny and a bit flashy, but still pretty cool. And he makes an amazing strawberry shortcake.
Normally, I would worry about the whole “He’s going to eat me” thing, but I feel pretty confident that Leo’s not that kind of guy.
Hope you’re doing well, Doug. You could always write me a note and see if it can get delivered to me while I’m still touring the country. Otherwise, I’ll try to get back to your cube soon for a visit.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Adame was "home sick"* Boo. Gigantor punked out. Dimples McGee is off in Hawaii getting his engagement on. NamNamNams didn't participate (nor his Nam nips.) Hello Bruce did play in the Tie Tuesday field - was wearing the same black tie, but under a lovely sweater vest - I just didn't get him up here in time for the photo. No idea about The Beast, he may or may not be wearing a tie. Adame is the one who usually puts these photo ops together, so I was out of my element.
All that said, we had to use Utah's phone to snap a picture and it came out rather devilish, which is rather exciting since Utah is a Mormon. He's wearing a Nuovo Moda purple number (was quite dashing) and I'm in a green/blue/yellow Louis of Boston. I say the colors specifically again because it looks like this was taken underwater, at night, without a moon, and filtered by a snorkel mask.
*"Home sick" is about the equivalent of "waiting for the cable guy" or "doctor's appointment". It basically means we think you are interviewing for another job.
I finally made it off the island. Thought I would come back and visit you, but got a little distracted. Check out the wing span on that guy! I should have migrated by now but that pesky kidnapping got in the way. So what’s my incentive to come back to your desk with all the other toys?
Not sure where we will go from here, but it's still entertaining. Maybe Duckie will meet a celebrity?
Monday, November 14, 2011
Thursday, November 10, 2011
20 minutes of the meeting was going back and forth about the reason we weren’t having Honey Baked Ham THIS year, but we are going to have it NEXT year, because some people will only eat ham if it’s Honey Baked Ham; but the ham that we CAN get (which isn’t Honey Baked Ham) is going to be cold and “is it alright to serve cold ham? I like to eat my ham hot” - but as far as I was concerned, it’s a moot point, cause I don’t eat freaking ham!
Then, it was positioned that we would just get a few cold turkeys and put sliced deli-style turkey breast out for people to eat because the turkeys give the effect of Thanksgiving but we really cannot afford to get full turkeys for everyone. I asked “why we don’t we just get the turkey breasts from the deli at Tom Thumb that are already cooked and hot?” This apparently started a mini-riot in the board room. Whoopsie Daisy.
At this point, Joe Black interrupted the turkey-talk and got the actual deets from the Head Committee member, who is lovely and fearless but really doesn’t need to be need deep in the gravy of the turkey-travesty. “How much is in our budget for meat? How many do we need to feed?” Getting all the information together on paper, it was then decided that I would contact Tom Thumb and find out. (I love Tom Thumb, they keep kosher.)
Joe Black and I jumped into his new ride, the Dodge Challenger. (Ironic he bought a Challenger. Well, ironic if you know why… I digress.) We gathered the information and I brought back to the Social Committee for their feedback, remembering that the Head Commmittee member specifically asked me to send out the feedback to the entire Social Committee distribution list. It would behoove me to note that there are twenty people on the committee and only 5-7 show up for meetings regularly.
My original email
Joe Black and I ran out to visit Sam’s Club and Tom Thumb. The best course of action is probably thus:
Sam’s $2.99/lb spiral ham. Cold. 65 lbs = $194.35 + tax = @ $210
Tom Thumb. $2.49/lb cooked turkey. HOT! ($15 charge per turkey for hot.) 8 turkeys at 10-12lbs each = @ $320
Total = about $530
And then, of course… because it was a group distribution and everyone had feedback and EVERYONE clicked REPLY ALL… these are all the INDIVIDUAL emails I received, and the rest of the committee received, all because of freaking turkey and ham. I couldn't make up these repsonses if I tried.
- Awesome! Let's do it.
- Are the hams going to be cold? Is there a way for us to heat them up or is everyone going to have to heat up individual plates?
- One option I can think of there is if we each take a few and put them in the oven on warm at our respective houses. Or, we slice them and warm them in the microwaves before all the employees arrive. Or, they stay cold and if an employee wants it warm, they heat it themselves.
- Or…..maybe we can purchase the turkeys and hams from a place that can heat them before we pick them up. Boston Market might be a good choice
- In the past, the hams have always been cold and if people want it warm they use the microwaves. Some people do like it cold and its easier for those that want it warm to warm it than for those that may want it cold to chill it!
- Everybody’s got a bright idea.
- Since we have no way to keep the Ham’s warm once we are here, I think it is best to microwave them just before serving. Will the Turkey’s be delivered or brought in just before serving?
- People will be happy with free food – cold or hot. Don’t worry about it. You have warm turkey and cold ham.
- To be honest, you can never please everyone with everything anyway. Some like ham hot, some cold. Again, they will just love the free food.
- Besides, all pot luck items will not stay warm since people are bringing things in at 8am.
- They will be heating other things in the microwave also. Let them decide on their own.
- It will be wonderful just because it’s Thanksgiving!
- Sounds good to me.
Smacking head on desk.
Paying off this heart-shaped pendant. One of my own personal recommendations, is this absolutely stunning, matching necklace and earring set. The earrings measuring just over a centimeter in genuine diamante with two pairs in lapis lazuli, in a lovely mock-gold finish. The exact replica of those worn at Wimbledon by Her Royal Highness the Duchess of Kent.
* We learned this word after the ridiculousness at the Royal Wedding of Will & Kate, remember?
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
I had to bring Adame into the fold as he has a smart phone with a camera (and cause he totally rocks!) This week, we took Ducky outside to the volleyball court and plopped him in the sand. Next, we added a little fruity umbrella that I have been saving from a DELICIOUS cupcake Trish the Dish made a little while back. The effect was perfect, I just needed to come up with an idea of why Ducky was no longer kidnapped.
I was able to escape from my kidnappers and stow away on a boat! But now I'm on a deserted island and I don't know how to get home. Help me!
My spies tell me that Doug was wandering around the third floor looking for anyone who had a zen sand garden on their desk. *smacks head* Looks like we're going to have to find a legitimate place to hide Ducky next week. Right now he's hiding out in my cupboard.
Monday, November 7, 2011
I am so digging this song today, Soul Mankossa by Manu Dibango. Manu is a Camaroonian saxophonist. It would be perfectly used in a movie where people are driving around trying to solve the clues of a murder... that's what I think of when I hear it.
It's perfect for the weather outside (kinda rainy and gloomy) to make you want to boogie dance in your seat to the funky soul beat.
Friday, November 4, 2011
I happened to be on the 3rd floor and walked by his cube on my way to a meeting. His desk is covered in stuff: legos, toys, monster machines, food, papers... and a duck. The duck was staring at me. It reached out to me with its bitty, black plastic eyes and pleaded for rescue. I didn't know what I would do with it, I just knew I wanted it.
So I liberated the duck. Thought he could come live with me upstairs with my Cowardly Lion Pez dispenser, Ladybug egg timer and rubber Menehune.* He seems happy. I haven't named him, but am learning towards Ducky (a la Pretty in Pink. Which is appropriate because I just heard Otis Redding's 'Try a Little Tenderness' on the radio today.)
So he's in my cube. Rather smuggly happy in his Duckiness. I did send a secret and not-to-be-traced note to Doug about Ducky...
...don't worry though, I won't really hurt him. Now I just need to figure out how to send the next picture showing Ducky on the beach with an umbella, like he got away from his attackers. Thoughts?
*Think of them as the leprechauns of Hawaii. And he's got his butt exposed. It's pretty awesome.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Right-o, let's move on with the show. From left to right!
FAR LEFT: My new buddy from numero tres, THE BEAST! Very handsome Michael Kors number with a cross hatch thingy going on. Looking good Beast, see you next Tuesday.*
SECOND FROM LEFT: Dimples McGee has a jaunty, Geoffrey Beene striped number.
MIDDLE: NamNamNams actually showed up IN A SUIT! What the what? Okay, I was half expecting a Brooks Brothers polo and a bow tie. He didn't just bring it, he brought it! Upped the class in the crew with his Burberry stylings. (Hey NamNamNams... When are you starting that Nam's Noms blog?)
SECOND FROM RIGHT: Adame in a whimsical Tommy Hilfiger. I have a feeling Adame was responsible for the tie draping over NamNamNams. It's been a slightly charged workplace of late. Peeps are pregnant, getting married, having babies... lots of love happening on the 4th Floor. So, it should come as no surprise that Adame wants to fling his tie about onto other men.
RIGHT: Me. Although you cannot see previously mentioned shoes, they match my Hitman-esque Joseph & Feiss tie. Decided to rock the full on double pony tails all the way (all the way) though they turned into braids after a discussion with a former flight attendant downstairs. Now I look less like a Japanese School Girl and more like Pocahontas.
Sadly, Hello Bruce was unable to make an appearance for the picture. I saw him much earlier and he was awesome sauce in the skinny black tie under a sweater-vest. Very hipstery, in a good hipster way. Utah is OOO, probably off drinking caffeine and reading dirty mags... whatever those Mormons do.
*After typing that sentence, I realized that it has an alternate meaning; one in which I am most likely NOT calling The Beast. In fact, it's really more applicable to my gender. But I wouldn't use that word.**
** Okay, I might use that word. But I'd only say it to someone who really was a major c u next tuesday.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Sunday, October 30, 2011
You know the list. The Top Five list.
Hubster's is Halle Berry, Angelina Jolie, Salma Hayak, Amanda Seyfried and Gwyneth Paltrow (as Pepper Potts and only as Pepper Potts) ... and that's not exactly in order, though close.
I look at the list and see a common theme; can you guess what it is? Not-so-secretly, I am delighted with his choices. I concur on a sapphic front.
This evening, I revised my top five to the Hubster's delight.
1) Jason Statham
No change at number one; you can blame the topless oil scene in Transporter or his dashing ways in The Italian Job. "If it's on the menu." You can be an appetizer, main course or dessert for all I care. Yummy. Congrats Jason, you held first position.
2) Bradley Cooper
New to the list. A ridiculous pretty boy that I normally would scoff at... his role in The A-Team squashed my once hoitty-toity prerequisites to garner an add at number two. (Replacing Sidney Poitier circa To Sir, With Love. Sorry Mister Poitier, a wonderful excursion in your Bahamian homeland was wonderful, but I crave something new. Hubster is sad Poitier got bumped. Frowny face and all.)
3) Daniel Craig
Adding to the list of white Brits, much to my chagrin as an equal opportunity salivator, is the current James Bond. Three words. Blue + trunks + beach. Please sir, can I have another? Daniel Craig bumps Josh Holloway (LOST's Sawyer) as we have not seen his awesome sauceness in a while. Make a movie Josh and you might get a second chance.
4) John Malkovich
Whether toying with your emotions in Dangerous Liaisons or commanding the table in The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, he's a pretty safe bet in the bedroom. Strong. Resolute. Wicked. Would that I could, I'd add Martin Freeman to the line-up for a damn good show. Unsure of his kissing abilities, I imagine that the awkwardness and goofiness would add to the evenings entertainment. Or, Mos Def. That would be lovely. Mmm. Maybe Mos Def will find his way back on the Top 5. That said, Malkovich remains unchanged at number four.
5) Robbie Williams
Oh RW my RW. How wonderful that we shared two stolen seconds in San Diego. I know you are married now, as I am also in wedded bliss; but as the longest remaining member on the Top Five, I simply cannot remove you. The mooning at the camera in the Millennium video has a Beezlebub signed and sealed contract. I don't know how to quit you.
Which sadly removes Takeshi Kaneshiro, Brian White and Naveen Andrews. Should I run into any of the three of you, I unfortunately cannot flirt to the prescribed level of awesomeness. You've missed the G List, I am exceptionally sad to report.
Too bad, so sad.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
After Midnight – Blink 182
I remember back in the day when it was just Blink; guys taking over my living room, coke cans everywhere, blowing out a speaker, someone making a run to Round Table for pizza, and the chapstick incident.
TV Girl – Baby You Were There
Fun video for a fun song. Wait for the dancing chicken.
Atlas Genius – Trojans
“Change it all but can’t change what we’ve been”
Givers – Up Up Up
I dare you to listen to this song and think depressing thoughts. Go ahead. Try it. You can’t. It’s bouncy and infectious. And boy, does that girl have a powerful voice! She kind of looks like Lindsay Lohan or Emma Stone? Not that it matters, I just noticed since I had only heard on XM.
Taking Back Sunday – A Decade Under the Influence
I hear that you need to see this band live. “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”
Houses – Soak It Up
I had never heard of the term “chillwave”; now that I have, it is definitely appropriate to apply to Houses. When I first heard this song, I thought it reminded me a little of Radiohead and something from The L Word… a weird combo, I know. But it works.
Bravery – Slow Poison
I got turned on to Bravery quite a few years ago, about the same time as Ra Ra Riot and She Wants Revenge. Again, since I listen to XM and don’t watch MTV, I haven’t seen what they look like. And being a girl (and it’s my bloggity blog blog) I’m going to tell you… Damn, the bassist is HOT! Shout out to Mike Hindert, you have some fine genes my musical friend.
Electric Touch – Don’t Stop
I haven’t seen a lot out about this band, but have a feeling they are going to make it on mainstream. I mean, if I like it, then it’s going to go pop. Tooting my own horn; way back in the day I called Coldplay when they were still in small venues in Amsterdam, introduced Green Day to a bunch of Kiwi 7th Formers, and most recently Young the Giant (who kicked ass at the MTV Awards show.) So, I have a feeling Electric Touch is going to be on full rotation on KISS FM soon. And here’s some synergy: they are from Austin and have played with The Bravery. So there.
Amos Lee – Windows Are Rolled Down
I’m late on the bandwagon, but glad to finally be onboard the Amos Lee train. When I hear this, I want to grab the Hubster and go for a wandering drive in the Nova, just headed west into the Texas sunset.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Bound and determined to make today less stressful and "tie" up loose ends (horribly bad pun intended.) Here's a snapshot of today's participants.
Hello Bruce* (far left) is rocking the skinny, black tie; very retro and uber cool of him (as always!)
Next, we have Utah "busily working" in a yellow Jones of New York number. His color palette choices are quite springy and floopy. I'm digging it and glad that the white number did not appear again today. Good job Utah!
Adame, Tie Tuesday Godfather, has a very busy Gap piece featuring hundreds of little life preservers. There's a joke there about life preservers and work, but it's not coming to me.
And then me, looking rather portly to be honest, in my signature Brioni tie. It's sticky in thiis office today. Like humid sticky. No one knows why.
*Hello Bruce. You have to say it with the same inflection/tone/style as seen in the Pixar hit, "Finding Nemo". "Helloooooo Bruce"
Monday, October 10, 2011
Had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. I'm leaving for a vacation that has been six years in the making, booked back in April, and off to celebrate love and friendship with the Hubster and The Smiths.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Work was a little crazy, planning lots of things and late afternoon meetings, so I missed a workout... or five. Had to reschedule with Amazon Amy twice, but she came at me with mad trainer juju in hour long sessions.
* Billy is Chris' friend from the Navy days. He's sobered up a lot in the last ten years. This is the dude who would get ridiculously drunk and kicked out of clubs, or in one case he was actually kicked out of Mexico. I'm not kidding! KICKED OUT OF MEXICO! A COUNTRY KNOWN FOR ITS TEQUILA! Hubster had to basically carry him across the border. Then he calls me at 4am and says "Can you come get us? We're at the border." I'm like, "Are you serious?? It's 4am!" So I drag myself out of bed, get in Gus the VW bug, and drive sleepily down to the border. There's Hubster and Billy, basically passed out on the side of the street. As soon as Billy gets in the car, he says "I think I'm going to puke." He takes a deep breath and then says "G? Can we get some Jack in the Box?" I am not kidding.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Since I've missed a few Music Mondays and Workout Wednesday Reports, I'll try to cram it all into this bloggity blog blog posting.
Let's start off nice and weird.
Modest Mouse - Tiny Cities Made of Ashes
And then a little more hipstery with this selection. I like it because of the line "Stick up for yourself". The video is a wee bit bizarre, which suits me just fine.
Yeasayer - Ambling Alps
How about some LCD Soundsystem? I just learned this morning that they broke up. Why? WHY!?! I demand answers! These guys prove the art of the music video isn't dead.
And finally, the song that's been stuck in my head for a week... Cru ew cru ew ewul... St. Vincent and Cruel.
As for my health and a Workout Wednesday Report, I've graduated to hour long sessions with Amazon Amy. Literally drinking two full water bottles at each workout. Pretty damn pleased with myself. Blood sugars are good. Blood pressure perfect. Fat loss fantastic. Keeping it up. And with these new music finds, I'm going to have to create a new play list for the gym. OH! And I'm going to try out that Entourage show to see if it can entertain me on the treadmill.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Friday, September 16, 2011
Dallas doesn’t have a POPCORN number.*
Name likes really fattening foods.
Nam wears polar bears boxers.
New Jersey pumps the gas for you.
There is a special room with a special machine to process finance checks.
Name prefers green jello, gummi bears and jolly rancher candies.
Jason Sudekis’ uncle is George Wendt!
Sharks have two p***s’s.
Monday’s Buddha state is straight with the right hand raised, palm flat.
Not all Greek people are heavyset, Jamie!
The capitol of South Carolina is Columbia.
Someone stole my pen.
You can get a lot done when you are positive.
There is a wiener war going on.
Jamie has a pig AND runs a non-profit.
The origin of skeleton crew and mind your p’s and q’s.
I am over a billion seconds old.
How to transfer and conference.
There are 17 grams of fat in a Klondike bar.
Who stole my pen.
Adame doesn’t know where he is from.
Trish might have an answer in her backend.
Cornelius Jacobszoon Drebbel created the submarine.
Leslie can’t snap her fingers.
Bab ghannouj = hummus with eggplant.
There are 78 stairs in the stairwell.
Nam dot Duong.
Frank Gehry is a Canadian-born architect.
Don’t touch your eyes or special bits after chopping chilies.
Love + Rockets are a band from the 80’s.
*POPCORN was what you dialed in Northern California to get the exact time and weather. I have learned since that day that Dallas does, in fact, have a POPCORN number. I’ve forgotten it though.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Walking out of the bathroom, I ran into Big Muscley Trainer who said, "nope, just get on the machine. You won't come back if you go home." well, that's true. So I did. I climbed on the elliptical in my white ankle socks and just moved my legs for 30 minutes. Not an intense workout, but I stayed. So I think I get credit for that.
Excuse the bad grammar and punctuation, and excessive use of "I" in this post.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Thanks to Mr. Hollingsworth, I am reading a new book called "Mindset" and utterly enthralled. I've already taken in the first 40 pages to heart, the most important of which is there is always room for more learning, more growth, and reminding yourself that you are a positive person.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
New York City Moves To the Sound of LA.
Listened to this while driving up and down the 101 last weekend.
Hey Adame! Yeah, this is the song for the trip. Try not to blow chunks all over it.
Friday, September 2, 2011
I just saw young the giant get the peeps choice award on the MTV shindiigy. I'm so proud. I feel like mama cass. When was the music Monday pick again? I've been rocking that on my mix for a while.
I guess this reinforces my hipster
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Toothpicks left on the counter
Bad drivers at Sprouts parking lot
Misplacing a drivers license
Getting a video to load on the MacBook
Walking out of the room while still talking
Bandaid wrappers on the floor
Washing whites with colors
Why we are watching the end of a depressing movie
How to properly do an ab exercise
Where to hang a painting
Whether the painting was level
The handle of a gladiator sword
Two bank of America cards
That's what we have argued over in two days.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Why does Moocha Poocha Chubby Wubby Fat Boy like to lick his feet?
I never had a locker like you see on Glee.
Why can't my colleagues break out into song?
I guess we will go with a cabinet reface.
You call that an earthquake?
Really should listen to NPR and find out about this Libya thing.
Wendy's fries are pretty awesome, but not as good as McDs.
I am NOT seeing that Contagion flick.
Guess we need to build a bunker.
A woman in that skirt and heels doesn't work on her feet all day.
Jason Statham, yum.
That's a Brooks Brothers polo shirt.
Mark Saling really does look like Robbie Williams.
I hate bullies
Show me a real woman in that ad, not a stick.
Who invented high heel shoes?
How old is Cloris Leachman?
Monday, August 22, 2011
Press play. Before you read, press play
So let's talk about "the line" shall we? I don't mean The Man in Black, walking the line; I'm talking about when you realize that things have to change. The moment when you take a good, hard look at what you want, what you expect for your future, what you want to accomplish, where you expect yourself to be (and who is in it) and decide, unreservedly, that this is the absolute moment where you draw a line.
Putting into the parlance of our times; I'll use a situation, just for sh*** and giggles.
Think of someone from your past. You come across that person and get excited to speak with them again. So you do. You strike up a friendly email conversation. Witty banter spreads across the miles. Inside jokes. Great music swapped. Remembrances of moments at 4 am where you cannot believe you are still awake, but do not want the night to end. Road trips, both memorable in their uniqueness and frustrating in the honesty of what will come. Trust. Honesty. Games... oh, the games that are played. You think back on this time in your life and feel a rush of... youth and longing. Excitement. Adrenaline for what you would do now, if you had a chance to go back then.
You know that if you just pick up the phone, that person will be there like no time has past. The connection resumes. You have that opportunity. You know it. They know it. It's an awesome and stunning moment. Like when a wave peaks at its crest and the sun hits it perfectly.
So you take a tentative step into the water, dip a toe as it were. And you slowly come to realize, it's all a dream; like a mirage in the desert as you slowly walk to your dying thirst, out of the frying pan and into the fire. It's a moment in time, a figment in your head of that time in space where you were at your best, they were at their best, and it's illogical that you would have that moment in time again. (Insert your own thoughts into what would happen in that scenario.)
When do you accept emails? Where do you meet again in person? Drinks. What comes around, goes around, and the situation ends in tears... they always do. With just the knowledge that you can NEVER put things back together again. There is no super glue for this Humpty Dumpty.
That's the line. Right there. I'm not crossing it.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Tuesday, August 16th was the official 12 week measurement with the caliper and tape. Each time Amy took a body measurement, she would giggle and make weird happy noises.
“What is it?!”
“Oh, it’s good, you’ll see!”
So when she stepped back after all the prodding, twenty measurements taken from my neck all the way to my calves, I was anxious to hear the results.
I went from 46% to 34% body fat in three months. Now, my weight has only dropped by ten pounds, but that due to the muscle that I have put on in place of all the fat. According to the measures, I have 157 pounds in lean mass and about 75 pounds in fat. So there you go. I’m shooting for another ten pounds lost by October 11th (which is coincidentally, the day before I leave on vacation in the Bahamas.)
Monday, August 15, 2011
Couldn't help myself. Especially after today's woot shirt (which, yes, I did purchase it.) The best part of this song is 1:32 in.
Monday, August 8, 2011
“I’m sorry, you’re in Connecticut. We can’t help you.”
“It’s liberating not caring, it’s kinda like being drunk, all the time.”
“I’m giving you a mental hug in a totally work appropriate way.”
“I did a lot of queer stuff when I was young.”
“Some ‘I love myself’ action”
“I played with him over the weekend. He was the Doctor. I was the patient. I feel violated.”
“The words you’ve never heard before: The hot new tuba player”
“We are the reason that man had three nips.”
“Oh, that explains why you rub my coat!”
“This is what happens when you drink a lot in the afternoon and type things”
“The Galapagos? Isn’t that where Darwin studied toilets?”
“It always goes to my junk.”
“He is getting a lot out of us today.” … “That’s okay, he got a lot outta me yesterday.”
“Communism works…. In theory”
“It was then that I learned I was 24 hours of losing my big toe.”
“The primary thrust that he is trying to penetrate… to not be straddled”
“If you don’t then call me at home and I’ll whip it out.”
“You’re still looking for squishy leather, right?”
“Dudes are like… strong!”
“I ran over a bunny with my lawn mower once, can you top that?”
“Were you smoking crack this morning?” … “Well, she’s the closest thing to it.”
“Chains are good.”
“I’m going to Target to buy a breast pump.”
“Cricket and Birdie… and, wait for it… Maude.”
“I feel worse drinking a dead man’s Boost than wearing his shoes.”
“Thank you for your little boom boom.”
“Be sure to get extra nipples!”
“I actually prefer them smaller… I can fit them all in my hand.”
“He’s like a Chihuahua on crack.”
“That is too hard for the softness that is inside.”
“Creepy never left”
“The ball is larger and brighter and bigger and bright red”
“We’re Canadian, not Al Qaida!”
“She sent me a Time magazine that said ‘Gay is Ok!’ on the cover that summer,. I kept it. Cause she died. And that was the last thing she sent to me.”
“Gee, I hope that was chocolate.”
When I had my VW Bug it appeared to work best on other European cars, which isn’t that surprising. While I couldn’t get it right, it came very close and even matched a few times before falling out of pattern. Those small moments of triumph made my day. Of course now I have my Nissan Cube, Super Gus the Hippie Bus, in which everything old is new again.
This morning, I was behind another manufactured-in-Asia car leaving the Tom Thumb parking lot (thanks for the espresso con panna Ted!) Without even trying, I flicked on my indicator (X calls it a clicker) and perfectly matched with the car in front of me. I couldn’t believe it. Didn’t even TRY to match it and it came out PERFECT! I mean, those clicks and flashes were in perfect harmony.
Since the day started so fortuitously, I shall end it just as awesomely. I'm going to get me some bath salts, chocolate strawberries, a lottery ticket and watch me some RW.
Best part? Two minutes in with the wink 'n a grin.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Monday, August 1, 2011
If you are crossing the border into Mexico, check your trunk.
Berkshire Hathaway owns Ben Bridge Jewelers.*
I actually know someone who has ONLY seen Star Wars episode 4.
Pictures of the esophagus are gross.
The Panama Canal lock system,
*And Dairy Queen, See's Candie's and GEICO.
Namakaran naming ceremony is traditionally how Hindu babies get their names.
Gopee = protector of cows
Suriname is in South America, not Africa.
No one will steal broccoli from the work fridge.
A narwhal is a toothed whale in the Arctic.
Madam, I'm Adam (it's a palindrome.)
Raison d'être = reason for existence.
McDonald's does NOT own Chipoodle.
Indian style is taboo, it's now Criss Cross Applesauce
Top baby names in 2010 were Jacob & Isabella.
A sneeze before breakfast leads to good things.
I know someone who hasn't seen any Twilight movie or read the books.
That being said, please copy/paste the link below into a new browser and check him out. Good stuff.
So I'm going to throw up another option below. I'm not really familiar with Ray Lamontagne, he's pretty groovy and not too Jack Johnsony, but still a hepcat for the hipsters. Dig it.
Friday, July 29, 2011
As I've often mentioned, I would love for my life to be a living musical. X even offered to bribe the Tom Thumb checkout clerks to bust into song the next time I'm picking up groceries. It hasn't happened yet, but one awesome day in the future I shall have my musical fantasy fulfilled.
In the interim, check out this spirits commercial from Australia. It ridiculously weird, funny, mesmerizing and awesome sauce. Does that dude have one arm? Yes.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
So, not much of a workout Wednesday report since there’s not a lot for me to be proud of. I phoned it in the previous Saturday workouts with Amy. Did I sweat? Sure. Did it make a difference? Probably not much.
Then I got one good boxing/sparing night in with her (wish the gym would get a body bag and punchy ball, that was fun.) All the other nights I was at home NOT working out but building a freaking stone wall with X. So technically, I got an amazing workout for my back, legs and arms for free and built a stone wall. (Just thought of Hadrian’s Wall and how long that monster took to complete; I shouldn’t complain about the bitty Eck Abode foyer.)
According to my Doctor’s office, I’ve lost ten pounds since I’ve been there last. Okey doke, that’s nice. Clothes are fitting a little differently but nothing significant. But I’ve lost steam, so I need a good kick in the bum to get myself back into gear. Maybe I need to post pictures of the Bahamas all over the place. To my three readers, any motivation that’s worked for you, please let me know.
Monday, July 25, 2011
I was sad to hear that Amy Winehouse had died this weekend. I cannot say that I am surprised, but it's a shame she wasn't able to make a triumphant comeback after a very public downfall. Should you not care to watch this video, might I suggest the three following songs, one of which would have been today's proper selection.
1) Get Higher, Paper Tongues
2) Santuary, by Gareth Emery
3) It's Real, Real Estate
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
I'll call us Team Stripier. He went horizontal, I went vertical.
But the interesting thing was that a very well respected lady downstairs (who wears bright colors, was a flight attendant, and has interesting jewelry*) told me that she was disappointed in my outfit "You look too conservative! I want to see you back in something funky the next time I see you!"
Huh, I thought I looked good. Guess I need to channel my inner funky tomorrow? Maybe it's cause I haven't been drinking...
*For my two readers who work with me: Gee, I wonder who THAT could be?!
Monday, July 18, 2011
I’ve got money on my mind lately, been having dreams about it, last night was an especially bad nightmare about being stranded on a boat that was sinking, but instead of water, it was gold coins. (Before our Disney trip, a friend mentioned that his favorite Disney character was Scrooge McDuck, because he always wanted to swim in gold coins. I blame you CH3 for that imagery! *shakes fist in his general direction* )
Which is why the first song I heard today on XMU, a lovely ditty by the band Drums, quite literally sang to me of its need to be today’s Music Monday selection.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
On Sunday, I rested.
Then another sweaty Monday evening workout with Amy.
Tuesday, I walk/jogged for 40 minutes on the treadmill and 5 minutes on the stair-climber. I tried to channel my inner Jedi and mind-trick myself into climbing longer, but I just couldn’t. That machine is the devil.
Wednesday I was in a really foul mood. I woke up grumpy and it carried throughout my day, I haven’t really shaken it off yet (though I am wearing very bright colors and jingly bracelets to confuse my mind into thinking that I am actually happy.) I ate a sourdough turkey/swiss sammich for lunch (with lemon water!) It pretty much canceled out the workout the night before. And since my afternoon had no resolution for my attitude, I decided that I didn’t want to go to the gym. I went home where X had bubbled me up a bubble bath, drank some wine, watched Looney Tunes cartoons from the 70s and ate shrimp alfredo. Yes, I’m serious. I ate an entire bowl of shrimp pasta alfredo from Joes. It was delicious. I should feel guilty, but I don’t.
So MUST get to the gym tonight. Salad and chicken breast for dinner. Think healthy... think healthy... maybe hit the punching bags a few times to see if I can get rid of some of this bad juju.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
I would be remiss not to report back on the ridiculousness of the gal who portrays Alice at Walt Disney World. She has a ridiculous Cockney accent that could not be understood by three year-olds, let alone myself. Clearly, she was American affecting an accent, but it wasn't posh or truly British... "Ah hue gettin in ta any tru bell?" she asks before the photo was taken. "What? Travel? Huh? Lady I don't have the foggiest idea what you're saying!" Apparently, she was asking if I was getting into any trouble. It was awful, I could fake a British accent better than her. All she had going was her looks. Sad, sad indeed.
I was supported in my anger later at Epcot where the ACTUAL British citizens who worked in the England section were just as highly miffed that Alice wasn't an authentic Londoner. However, the White Rabbit gave me the biggest hug-off-the-ground hug ever (hence the super smile on my face here and note that X refused to even touch her.)
Monday, July 11, 2011
I should be thankful for what I have and appreciative that I have it so well. I can list pages of things that are awesome and only note five or so things that I don't like in my current situtaion. That's good, right?
Thursday, July 7, 2011
I'm back! No Music Monday or Workout Wednesday Report this week; although, I'm pleased to say that my weight appears to be even from when I left. I was a relatively healthy eater actually! Walking around for 14 hours each day in the humid Florida climate helped cleanse my pores and sweat out intoxities (that's the story I'm going with.) But it's back to reality, focus on the jobby job, get my booty into the gym each night and keep on truckin. Catch ya in a few days when I've got something worth posting. All pics and videos from the trip live over on my facebook page.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Hoover does not rhyme with halleleuiah
Emancipation Proclimation was in 1863
Thomas DeCarlo Callaway = CeeLo Green
That I give “hot cooperation”
Eat certain foods based on blood type
Hold that thought to yourself
Waking up with a sense of dread might be a hangover
A warm welcome offered by a host = glad hand
Grilling is lazy cooking
Egg salad is not healthy
“Craps” comes from the French word for turtle
I’m pretty awesome at Craps
Birds that hit your windshield leave an imprint
Sue’s middle name is now Zaroo
Don’t allow Robyn to talk about animals at lunch
Adame cheats with words like foozle
Blurb.com is super cool
A bunch of uses for water displacement #40
Walt Disney World and the Orlando airport don’t sell gum
Kelvin doesn’t like peanut butter
Monday, June 27, 2011
Barry lives in the oak tree in front of my house (the one across from Sammy the squirrel - who is doing great by the way.) I’m not sure what kind of bird he is, there’s nothing distinctive about his coloring or size, he’s just a bird. What makes Barry so interesting is that he is completely suicidal. I mean it, 100% manic-depressive, put him in a white jacket and padded cell, this bird is cuckoo (pun intended.)
The moment you start your car he flies down and lands in front of your tires, then waddles around for a little bit and once you start to move he’ll barely make it out of the way before you run him over. I’ve been in my kitchen looking out at the street and seen him swoop down and try to get run over by the recycling truck. I’m serious, he’s got some serious thrill issues.
Therefore, I cannot help myself but to make this song my Music Monday pick. I double dog dare you to try and get this awesomeness out of your head.
* In Beatrice Prior's dystopian Chicago, society is divided into five factions, each dedicated to the cultivation of a particular virtue—Candor (the honest), Abnegation (the selfless), Dauntless (the brave), Amity (the peaceful), and Erudite (the intelligent). On an appointed day of every year, all sixteen-year-olds must select the faction to which they will devote the rest of their lives. For Beatrice, the decision is between staying with her family and being who she really is—she can't have both. So she makes a choice that surprises everyone, including herself.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
As this picture might express, I'm feeling pretty good today. Just got back from Anytime Fitness (shout out) after 30 minutes on the elliptical, the crazy one that allows you to modify strides. I happen to prefer this machine as it allows me to time my footfalls with whatever music I'm listening to versus a treadmill where I would have to adjust the pace up or down. X made me a new play list "pUnk rOck" which had a mishmash of Danzig, My Chemical Romance and Billy Idol (the crush still holds after all these years... oh Cradle of Love, the first "sexy" video I ever saw.) As you can tell, it wasn't really a punk play list, especially once I hit Moxy Fruvous and Nina Simone, but it was made with great intentions and I enjoyed it. But let me backtrack the week and report properly.
After last week's posting, I got in a few more cardio workouts, then a Saturday morning training session with Amazon Amy. She had another client tag-teaming who was a gorgeous mid-forties woman with a rocking bod. I was envious and said I wanted to look like her and Amy said, "You should tell her that. She doesn't think so." Proves the point that everyone has their own body issues to work through. Thirty minutes of paid pain later, I rushed home to shower and meet the Book Club Peeps at Benedict's on Belt Line. Bueno, Bonita Chiquita and Dirty Sturdy rounded out our table - I was good and had lox and veg, hold the bagel. After making my apologies at 11am, rushed home to grab X and make our way to the airport for Vegas Lacking Father's Weekend.
Vegas. Bellagio. My first time visiting as an adult. Learned I am a pretty good craps player, got to hangout with Ky, saw the UNBELIEVABLE Cirque du Soliel "O" show, supped at Prime Steakhouse (asked for the Chef's preferred truffle oil: Sabatino black truffle,) drank vodka & tonic per Amy's reco and generally had a luxurious time. I even had Cheerios for breakfast the next day. Look at me! Avoiding the buffet of bacon and pancakes!
Now this is where I slipped a little. I didn't get any exercise Sunday or Monday, I was tired and not up to it. When I showed up for my Tuesday training session, Amy was cool. "Just get in what you can, don't kill yourself." Did I mention how much I heart Amy? She proceeded to abuse my back and hammies for 30 minutes, probably since I flaked for the previous two days of work, but I came out of the session sweaty and feeling stronger.
That catches us up to today. X says he can tell I've lost weight. I think he's being a good hubster, I don't see it, but compliments are good so 'll take it. I truly enjoy going to Anytime Fitness as the other five people in there were other chubs like me, most of whom a good ten or twenty years older. Brent gave me the wassup nod as I climbed onto the machine and there was a gal on the stair climber that had a booty Kelvin would drool over.
So that's the report. Please comment back on suggestions for songs that are really great to listen to while passing the time on the machines, I'd appreciate it.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Seriously though, Shelby Lynne and a song called Tarpoleon Napoleon. Check it out.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
For the past nine years, I've been living in a state of constant stress and really haven't placed value on taking care of myself. Everyone else's needs came first, which is fine - I chose that by taking care of the needs of family and trying to be a good person by helping those in transition - but now that it's just X and I in the house with our boopins, it's time to be selfish. Yes, more selfish than before.
It would be easy for me to blame the weight on the Great Ski Trip of Disaster and Disappointment for a bum knee (which I do) but truly I need to blame myself for not caring enough about my own health and fitness. If your body is a temple, I treated mine like Filene's Basement on discounted wedding dress day.
Not being a fan of exercise since, well... birth, I've finally embarked on a journey of healthiness. The goal is to get my heart strong and muscles in shape so I'm not wheezing whilst traipsing up stairs (with the hopeful added benefit of losing lbs.) I debated whether to blog about it, but this is what will hold me accountable. It's public. It's honest. And as the blog title suggests, very egocentric and true to my form.
So here goes. I've never been heavier than this current weight in my entire life, which needless to say is about 60 lbs more than where I imagine myself to be. I've hired a trainer, Amazon Amy*, who has been kicking my fat ass into shape twice a week. Three other nights a week I do cardio for 30 minutes and play Words With Friends and listen to good tunes to try and make the time go by more quickly. I haven't felt adrenaline yet, though my colleague Robyn swears it will happen. I'm eating well, watching the sugar and carbs, but still have a weakness for wine. I'm tracking all my foods and exercise on the Anytime Health ap. That's where we are at today.
It's been four weeks, I've lost about five pounds and feel good about this direction. I am going to post each Workout Wednesday and hope that you enjoy reading about it. Maybe I can inspire my three readers that if I can do it, you can too. Or support your current health habits. Or just entertain you in some way. Let the journey begin.
*She's five feet tall, pretty, all muscle, blond, perky and fantastic. If the world were populated by Amy's, there would be no war, never a need for Prozac and every puppy would have a loving home.