January Wall Quotes

Here's a recap of the latest work sayings that made it on "The Wall".

What's that beeping? (it's me) We're going to call you G-3P0 from now on. 
I'd be Cap'n Crunch... cause I like the hat. 
What's that pregnancy hormone? THC?
Teamwork makes the dream work!
And then I came out of the closet...
Love is like a fart. If you have to push it, it's probably s**t. 
Can I tell you how much fun I has taking out your balls and playing with them?

RELEASE THE SCRAPPLE!
If it burns when you pee, you gotta stop.
(singing) I second that emulsion!
I look much, much better when I have a bra on.
(How to make a flow chart for labor) PUSH! Did it come out? NO. PUSH! Did it come out? NO.
Sorry, but I'm not the only person in this room who's had a penis in his mouth. 
(Turning on the screen saver to a fireside scene.) I figuratively, and quite literally, keep the fire going!
Being pregnant is like being stoned 24/7 with the munchies.
It's like the Last Supper! But with less dying. 

That smells great! What is that?
Island Nectar.
Eyelid nectar?
Eyelid nectar, the tears of god...

It's DANCE OFF PANTS OFF!
I knew something in the milk ain't clean!
(singing) Feeling Grube!
No, it's in there but you're going to push it to the side. 
They could get lei'd!
I'ma be his Christian Grey!
You have it in your mouth, but you're probably going to spit it out...
That's why you need to be friends with Barbara and get access to her secret closet.
It was like 50 shades of Don.
Of all the women's shoes I've tried on, those are the most comfortable. 

Real Work Convo, Part 12414:

It all started with a conversation that I was not a part of... 

Email from a male teammate to the whole team:

For all of you who were poking fun at me yesterday regarding my dry hands.  Forever Midnight is a real collection with legitimate triple moisture cream from Bath and Body Works.  My wife tells me, it ended up in our bathroom cabinet because a few years back it was a gift from a distance family member. 

I don’t know much about cream….but I can say it didn’t do a very good job.

Forever Midnight

Also I forgot to tell you…it smells horrible.  Not to mention the name Forever Midnight is terrible.

Response from McCoates:

Sounds like a name for a Victoria Secret line.

Response from me:

No, I’m going to go with Harlequin Romance. 

What do you think?

Office Humor

I received this email in my inbox as I have flown Spirit once previously.

The timing is perfectly in sync with the unfortunate incidents of a certain Mayor of Toronto.  That, in itself, is so much drama and a nightmare that it could be it's own blog posting.  Instead, I thought I would just forward the email out to my marketing team for a few chuckles.

Me:
Bryan, you think we can do some type of promotion for our Canadian customers (see below)?  Gotta strike while the crack pipe is hot. 
G

Bryan's response:

I’m afraid our current rates in Canada are a little “high”…..

…see what I did there? ......

My response back:

Too bad. I think we just wasted an opportunity.

Ba dum dum