Music Monday- "Hold On Forever" by Rob Thomas

Happy Monday.

I had a horrible nightmare last night and wasn't really able to fall back asleep (Walking Dead premiere triggered it, I guess.) The nightmare didn't even really make much sense, but it was intense and scary. Let's just say I'm going to be avoiding Dave & Buster's for a long time.

So while I could have gone a scary route with today's selection and get ready for Halloween, I decided to do the exact opposite.

This one is for my sweetheart and my best friend. Thanks for being there at 2:30 am when I needed you.

Answering the Chuck Klosterman 23

In his collection of essays ‘Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs’ Chuck Klosterman lists 23 questions that he believes would determine, in his mind, whether or not he could truly love someone. Learning of these questions, I asked Neaves the Beast to ask me a few. Intrigued, I thought I would just blog my answers to all of them for posterity.

1. Let us assume you met a rudimentary magician. Let us assume he can do five simple tricks—he can pull a rabbit out of his hat, he can make a coin disappear, he can turn the ace of spades into the Joker card, and two others in a similar vein. These are his only tricks and he can’t learn any more; he can only do these five. HOWEVER, it turns out he’s doing these five tricks with real magic. It’s not an illusion; he can actually conjure the bunny out of the ether and he can move the coin through space. He’s legitimately magical, but extremely limited in scope and influence. Would this person be more impressive than Albert Einstein? 

I would be vastly jealous of the Magician as he is clearly a non-Muggle. And, while I’ve never met Albert Einstein, I know he was a genius who developed the theory of relativity. (And yes, I had to Google that to remember what he did besides the whole bomb thing.) I think the “correct” answer in my gut would be Einstein. But that Magician? That’s pretty freaking cool. 

2. Let us assume a fully grown, completely healthy Clydesdale horse has his hooves shackled to the ground while his head is held in place with thick rope. He is conscious and standing upright, but completely immobile. And let us assume that—for some reason—every political prisoner on earth (as cited by Amnesty International) will be released from captivity if you can kick this horse to death in less than twenty minutes. You are allowed to wear steel-toed boots. Would you attempt to do this? 

Negative, I would NOT even entertain the idea. Screw the political prisoners.

3. Let us assume there are two boxes on a table. In one box, there is a relatively normal turtle; in the other, Adolf Hitler’s skull. You have to select one of these items for your home. If you select the turtle, you can’t give it away and you have to keep it alive for two years; if either of these parameters are not met, you will be fined $999 by the state. If you select Hitler’s skull, you are required to display it in a semi-prominent location in your living room for the same amount of time, although you will be paid a stipend of $120 per month for doing so. Display of the skull must be apolitical. Which option do you select? 

The skull would go with my house décor even if it is Hitler’s. And turtles smell.

4. Genetic engineers at Johns Hopkins University announce that they have developed a so-called “super gorilla.” Though the animal cannot speak, it has a sign language lexicon of over twelve thousand words, an I.Q. of almost 85, and—most notably—a vague sense of self-awareness. Oddly, the creature (who weighs seven hundred pounds) becomes fascinated by football. The gorilla aspires to play the game at its highest level and quickly develops the rudimentary skills of a defensive end. ESPN analyst Tom Jackson speculates that this gorilla would be “borderline unblockable” and would likely average six sacks a game (although Jackson concedes the beast might be susceptible to counters and misdirection plays). Meanwhile, the gorilla has made it clear he would never intentionally injure any opponent. You are commissioner of the NFL: Would you allow this gorilla to sign with the Oakland Raiders?

If women can’t play football, then why should we allow a gorilla to play? No.

5. You meet your soul mate. However, there is a catch: Every three years, someone will break both of your soul mate’s collarbones with a Crescent wrench, and there is only one way you can stop this from happening: You must swallow a pill that will make every song you hear—for the rest of your life—sound as if it’s being performed by the band Alice in Chains. When you hear Creedence Clearwater Revival on the radio, it will sound (to your ears) like it’s being played by Alice in Chains. If you see Radiohead live, every one of their tunes will sound like it’s being covered by Alice in Chains. When you hear a commercial jingle on TV, it will sound like Alice in Chains; if you sing to yourself in the shower, your voice will sound like deceased Alice vocalist Layne Staley performing a capella (but it will only sound this way to you). Would you swallow the pill?

Yes. I would not allow for my soul mate to be caused physical pain every three years, knowingly. My life would suck and I’m probably going to go mental over Layne Staley’s voice everywhere, but I’d do it.

6. At long last, someone invents “the dream VCR.” This machine allows you to tape an entire evening’s worth of your own dreams, which you can then watch at your leisure. However, the inventor of the dream VCR will only allow you to use this device of you agree to a strange caveat: When you watch your dreams, you must do so with your family and your closest friends in the same room. They get to watch your dreams along with you. And if you don’t agree to this, you can’t use the dream VCR. Would you still do this?

No. I only share my dreams when I want to and I really don’t wake up remembering them in the first place. The ones I do remember tend to be a little dark and I don’t need to see those again.

7. Defying all expectation, a group of Scottish marine biologists capture a live Loch Ness Monster. In an almost unbelievable coincidence, a bear hunter in the Pacific Northwest shoots a Sasquatch in the thigh, thereby allowing zoologists to take the furry monster into captivity. These events happen on the same afternoon. That evening, the president announces he may have thyroid cancer and will undergo a biopsy later that week. You are the front page editor of The New York Times: What do you play as the biggest story?

Tough choice between Loch Ness Monster and Sasquatch. I suppose I’ll go with Sasquatch since it’s in the Pacific Northwest and The New York Times is an American newspaper. (Granted they are global in reach, but a little patriotism is nice. )

8. You meet the perfect person. Romantically, this person is ideal: You find them physically attractive, intellectually stimulating, consistently funny, and deeply compassionate. However, they have one quirk: This individual is obsessed with Jim Henson’s gothic puppet fantasy The Dark Crystal. Beyond watching it on DVD at least once a month, he/she peppers casual conversation with Dark Crystal references, uses Dark Crystal analogies to explain everyday events, and occasionally likes to talk intensely about the film’s “deeper philosophy.” Would this be enough to stop you from marrying this individual?

If they can deal with my Potterness, I can deal with their Crystalness.

9. A novel titled Interior Mirror is released to mammoth commercial success (despite middling reviews). However, a curious social trend emerges: Though no one can prove a direct scientific link, it appears that almost 30 percent of the people who read this book immediately become homosexual. Many of these newfound homosexuals credit the book for helping them reach this conclusion about their orientation, despite the fact that Interior Mirror is ostensibly a crime novel with no homoerotic content (and was written by a straight man). Would this phenomenon increase (or decrease) the likelihood of you reading this book?

A little net neutral, but I’d be curious to read it. Yes, is being my answer. (Shout out reference to Love Actually.)

10. This is the opening line of Jay McInerney’s Bright Lights, Big City: “You are not the kind of guy who would be in a place like this at this time of the morning.” Think about that line in the context of the novel (assuming you’ve read it). Now go to your CD collection and find Heart’s Little Queen album (assuming you own it). Listen to the opening riff to “Barracuda.” Which of these two introductions is a higher form of art?

The written word.

11. You are watching a movie in a crowded theater. Though the plot is mediocre, you find yourself dazzled by the special effects. But with twenty minutes left in the film, you are struck with an undeniable feeling of doom: You are suddenly certain your mother has just died. There is no logical reason for this to be true, but you are certain of it. You are overtaken with the irrational metaphysical sense that—somewhere—your mom has just perished. But this is only an intuitive, amorphous feeling; there is no evidence for this, and your mother has not been ill. Would you immediately exit the theater, or would you finish watching the movie?

I guess I’d leave, but make the call quick in the lobby and then come back in.

12. You meet a wizard in downtown Chicago. The wizard tells you he can make you more attractive if you pay him money. When you ask how this process works, the wizard points to a random person on the street. You look at this random stranger. The wizard says, “I will now make them a dollar more attractive.” He waves his magic wand. Ostensibly, this person does not change at all; as far as you can tell, nothing is different. But—somehow—this person is suddenly a little more appealing. The tangible difference is invisible to the naked eye, but you can’t deny that this person is vaguely sexier. This wizard has a weird rule, though—you can only pay him once. You can’t keep giving him money until you’re satisfied. You can only pay him one lump sum up front. How much cash do you give the wizard?

None. I’m perfectly attractive as I am.

13. Every person you have ever slept with is invited to a banquet where you are the guest of honor. No one will be in attendance except you, the collection of your former lovers, and the catering service. After the meal, you are asked to give a fifteen-minute speech to the assembly. What do you talk about?

Probably Harry Potter.

14. For reasons that cannot be explained, cats can suddenly read at a twelfth-grade level. They can’t talk and they can’t write, but they can read silently and understand the text. Many cats love this new skill, because they now have something to do all day while they lay around the house; however, a few cats become depressed, because reading forces them to realize the limitations of their existence (not to mention the utter frustration of being unable to express themselves). This being the case, do you think the average cat would enjoy Garfield, or would cats find this cartoon to be an insulting caricature?

They’d hate it.

15. You have a brain tumor. Though there is no discomfort at the moment, this tumor would unquestionably kill you in six months. However, your life can (and will) be saved by an operation; the only downside is that there will be a brutal incision to your frontal lobe. After the surgery, you will be significantly less intelligent. You will still be a fully functioning adult, but you will be less logical, you will have a terrible memory, and you will have little ability to understand complex concepts or difficult ideas. The surgery is in two weeks. How do you spend the next fourteen days?

I wouldn’t want the surgery. But that’s not an option, is it?  I suppose I would spend the next fourteen days making videos of myself, telling my stories so that I could watch them later. Oh, and figure out how to make an income we can live on while I’m in that state.

16. Someone builds and optical portal that allows you to see a vision of your own life in the future (it’s essentially a crystal ball that shows a randomly selected image of what your life will be like in twenty years). You can only see into this portal for thirty seconds. When you finally peer into the crystal, you see yourself in a living room, two decades older than you are today. You are watching a Canadian football game, and you are extremely happy. You are wearing a CFL jersey. Your chair is surrounded by books and magazines that promote the Canadian Football League, and there are CFL pennants covering your walls. You are alone in the room, but you are gleefully muttering about historical moments in Canadian football history. It becomes clear that—for some unknown reason—you have become obsessed with Canadian football. And this future is static and absolute; no matter what you do, this future will happen. The optical portal is never wrong. This destiny cannot be changed. The next day, you are flipping through television channels and randomly come across a pre-season CFL game between the Toronto Argonauts and the Saskatchewan Roughriders. Knowing your inevitable future, do you now watch it?

Nope.

17. You are sitting in an empty bar (in a town you’ve never before visited), drinking Bacardi with a soft-spoken acquaintance you barely know. After an hour, a third individual walks into the tavern and sits by himself, and you ask your acquaintance who the new man is. “Be careful of that guy,” you are told. “He is a man with a past.” A few minutes later, a fourth person enters the bar; he also sits alone. You ask your acquaintance who this new individual is. “Be careful of that guy, too,” he says. “He is a man with no past.” Which of these two people do you trust less?

I trust the man with the past less than the one with no past.

18. You have won a prize. The prize has two options, and you can choose either (but not both). The first option is a year in Europe with a monthly stipend of $2,000. The second option is ten minutes on the moon. Which option do you select?

A year in Europe.

19. Your best friend is taking a nap on the floor of your living room. Suddenly, you are faced with a bizarre existential problem: This friend is going to die unless you kick them (as hard as you can) in the rib cage. If you don’t kick them while they slumber, they will never wake up. However, you can never explain this to your friend; if you later inform them that you did this to save their life, they will also die from that. So you have to kick a sleeping friend in the ribs, and you can’t tell them why. Since you cannot tell your friend the truth, what excuse will you fabricate to explain this (seemingly inexplicable) attack?

That I tripped.

20. For whatever the reason, two unauthorized movies are made about your life. The first is an independently released documentary, primarily comprised of interviews with people who know you and bootleg footage from your actual life. Critics are describing the documentary as “brutally honest and relentlessly fair.” Meanwhile, Columbia Tri-Star has produced a big-budget biopic of your life, casting major Hollywood stars as you and all your acquaintances; though the movie is based on actual events, screenwriters have taken some liberties with the facts. Critics are split on the artistic merits of this fictionalized account, but audiences love it. Which film would you be most interested in seeing?

The Hollywood version. I hope it is a musical!

21. Imagine you could go back to the age of five and relive the rest of your life, knowing everything that you know now. You will re-experience your entire adolescence with both the cognitive ability of an adult and the memories of everything you’ve learned form having lived your life previously. Would you lose your virginity earlier or later than you did the first time around (and by how many years)?

Later. By about a good three years.

22. You work in an office. Generally, you are popular with your coworkers. However, you discover that there are currently two rumors circulating the office gossip mill, and both involve you. The first rumor is that you got drunk at the office holiday party and had sex with one of your married coworkers. This rumor is completely true, but most people don’t believe it. The second rumor is that you have been stealing hundreds of dollars of office supplies (and then selling them to cover a gambling debt). This rumor is completely false, but virtually everyone assumes it is factual. Which of these two rumors is most troubling to you?

Both. But I guess the one about stealing since I hadn’t done it and it would make me mad people assumed it was true.

23. Consider this possibility:
a. Think about deceased TV star John Ritter.
b. Now, pretend Ritter had never become famous. Pretend he was never affected by the trappings of fame, and try to imagine what his personality would have been like.
c. Now, imagine that this person—the unfamous John Ritter—is a character in a situation comedy.
d. Now, you are also a character in this sitcom, and the unfamous John Ritter character is your sitcom father.
e. However, this sitcom is actually your real life. In other words, you are living inside a sitcom: Everything about our life is a construction, featuring the unfamous John Ritter playing himself (in the role of your TV father). But this is not a sitcom. This is your real life.
How would you feel about this?

I guess it’s better to be in a sitcom than a drama. Right?

#AwesomeDay

Today has been an awesome day.

I woke up feeling great, snugged with the Boops and the Hubster, then put on one of my favorite outfits. Got to the car dealership where I was charged nothing for the tire replacement. Headed over to work with one fifth of #TeamAwesome - and Neaves the Beast taught me more about The Gilmore Girls. Had a pretty fantastic salad and baked snack. Chatted with an installation guy that got me two future work wins. Got my work homework completed early. Discovered a new song (below) and a new artist (which I will feature next week: KRNFX)



I can't wait for Music Monday, I have to post it now.

Are You Going To Scarborough Fair?

It's that time of year again when North Texas goes back to the 16th century with the return of Scarborough Fair. Hubster and I made the hour south drive to Waxahatchie, Texas yesterday morning. (Quick tip: go early or be patient with the drive. It's bumper to bumper once you leave I-35.) The Renaissance Fair will be in town until end of May and usually we go towards the end. But last year was so freaking hot, we went now. Not sure that was the brightest move, many of the Artisans were focused on selling and not the demonstrations of their craft.

That said, we had fun with masks. 

 And had some foodies.

Which, were not entirely great; but unless you're camping out in the parking lot and grilling up your own meals, you have to take what you can get. And it's not cheap. 

At one o'clock they have the King's Parade. I felt bad for the drummer whose strap broke and he had to bail out early.  There were some interesting new additions this year. 

The parade was running a little behind and poor King Henry was literally jogging to keep up.

After the parade, we kept wandering around discovering the village. 

 I ended up buying a set of amazing wind chimes, a new leather satchel and a wooden hair clip. 

Right before we left, we visited the "Coin Men" who create customized bronze and silver coins that you wear as medallions. You have a range of images to select from for the front and back of the coin.

They employ a machine invented by Da Vinci that utilizes weight and gravity to stamp into metal. It revolutionized coin making. 

Two years ago I got Pan on one side and Bacchus on the other. As you can imagine, it was a wild year. This time around I asked for two coins: one with the sun and moon, the other with a Fleur de lis and Family Heart.

But the best part of Ren Fair is the cosplay. 

This year had an unusually high number of mythical folk. 

Elves.

And quite a large number of Pirates.

You always get a good show with the men who like to wear skirts kilts.

And the ladies who just want to show skin.

The baby was a nice touch though. 

And the handful of people who pick out their costume from Party City, or make their on attempt to participate. 

 

And then the ones who REALLY get into it. 

Even though it was a mild 85 degrees, I don't know how they do it. Probably why you end up seeing more and more skin as we get closer to summer. 

Fox tails were quite popular this year. 

And at the end of the day, when it's time to part ways and get back to reality in the 21st century, you're reminded why you came here in the first place.

To unplug.

Real Eck Abode Convo - Part 022614

Scene: We are snuggled on the couch with the boopins, watching a movie. 

Hubster: Oh, that reminds me of the quote by Hemingway about hunting. 

Me: Wait, what?

H: You know, a man who hunts other men never cares about anything later.

M: I have no idea what you are talking about. Are you SURE it's by Hemingway?

H: Look it up!

M: (straight to google) man hunting quote hemingway... hmmm. Here it is! There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter.

H: See. Told ya. 

M: How do you know that quote?

H: Oh the guys in Fallujah spray painted it on the wall and put those thingies on either side of his name. (makes a motion with both hands in the air.)

M: Quotation marks?

H: Noooo.

M: Parenthesis?

H: That's the word. 

M: So, you know the whole quote. You know it was Hemingway. But you can't remember the word parenthesis?

Happy Valentine's Day

This is what I came home to today, on Valentine's Day.

Card reads: 

Happy Valentine's Day My Love

From our first kiss at the beach

to the end we all reach

I will love you.

Morbidly awesome and hilarious. That's my Hubster. 

Wine and chocolates, way to go babe. 

I love you too.

Real Eck Abode Convo - Part 2114

Watching King of the Nerds...
Me: OMIGOD LARPing
Hubster: What the heck is LARPing?
Me: Live Action Role Play. How do you not know this!?
Hubster: why would I know this?
Me: cause you are married to me! And it's awesome. And we have already LARPed!
Hubster: when did we LARP?
Me: Ren Fair! Remember?
Hubster: no.
Me: (sigh)

Music Monday "Ends of the Earth" by Lord Huron

Hubster found this song.  I can easily listen to this over and over. Hope that you enjoy it as well.

SYTYCD Top 12, season 10

When we lived in San Diego, I think we used the air conditioner twice in three years. Now that we live in Texas, it is constantly running... Either to warm up in the winter or cool down now. It's 105 degrees outside people! So it should be no surprise that our a/c has called it quits and I'm sitting here in my underwear. Boopins are miserable and panting. Hubs says we're at 86 now indoors. Blarg. Repairs sometime tomorrow between 1 and 6 pm.

So in lieu of a usual detailed SYTYCD posting, I'm doing the highlights. I feel like a sweaty muppet.

Opening number was an awesome Bollywood number. Now THAT is how you lose weight...

UPDATE, MORNING AFTER: There was a lot more to this post but somehow I inadvertently deleted it.  I'm not going to try and recreate as it wasn't that thrilling of a read.  And I kept complaining about the heat.

Cross your fingers that my A/C gets fixed today and it's under warranty.

SYTYCD Top 16 Perform, Season 10

The past seven days have been pretty intense. I'm not really up to blogging this and it's the Hubster's birthday. But we need a distraction and it's going to take a while for dinner to be ready... so let's go ahead and get on with it. 

Opening number

The New World by The Irrepressionals (sp?)

Stacey Tookey and Sam Chu routine (I may not have gotten the second choreographer's name right.)

In danger... Curtis, Jenna, Mariah, Alan, MacKenzie, BluPrint.

Jenna looks rather confident though when she stepped forward. Now she's shocked. But she doesn't have to dance for her life, I don't know if that is a good thing or not. 

Alexis and Nico

Jive

Tony & Melanie choreographers (oh lookie lookie, the crazy red head is back!)

Mayhem by Imelda May

He's super bouncey. She could use some help. First lift wasn't good, but the second was better. Their timing is just off in places. It's a really hard dance. But they clearly look like amateurs. It's unfortunate. They really lost their steam. 

Jenna and Tucker

Contemporary

Travis Wall

Hangin by a Thread by Jean Arden

Must be hard to work with ropes. A couple of obvious hiccups. It was pretty. Jenna isn't going home tonight I don't think. 

Mariah and BluPrint

Hip Hop (nope, I guess it's Jazz)

Brian Freedman

Fall Into the Sky by Zedd and Lucky Date (feat. Ellie Goulding)

She's a Greek goddess? Um, okay. I can guess BluPrint as a gladiator. It was fun. Hard but good. I'm not very eloquent tonight. The costumes are awesome though! Good music too. 

Maleace and Alan

Hip Hop

David Allen

Bass Line by Chris Brown

Aliens come back to reinvent hip hop. They really utilized her hips in this one. It was a slower hip hop than I expected. But you couldn't take your eyes off her. Alan's pants were ... wrong. Just, wrong. He's not a hip hopper at all. Ballroom does not translate. 

Haley and Curtis

Dee Casperee

Contemporary

Don't Let Go Yet by David J Roch

There's a ladder for a prop. My favorite for the night. When music and choreography and the right dancers come together, it's wonderful. Dee is in the audience with teary eyes. 

Next up... Hobo Jazz?

Amy and Fik-shun

Jazz

Tyce Diorio

Under the Bridge from the Triplets of Belleville soundtrack

That was cute. Great use of each dancers talents. Great faces and attitude. Nothing bad to say. I want Amy's hat. I think I could wear that chapeau. 

MacKenzie and Paul

Hip Hop

Dave Scott

Pretty Lil' Heart by Robin Thicke feat. Lil' Wayne

1930s model and a photographer. I'm telling you again, for the third time, these choreographers are obsessed with the 30s and Gatsby. I was enthralled with the costume she was wearing. The routine was great, nothing bad to say here. It's funny that tonight you can tell the great numbers from the good ones. This was good... not great, but good. (Though I think I will be buying the song on iTunes. There are a few Robin Thicke songs that I have heard on KXT that I like.)

On a side note, I HAVE to hear the new Right Said Fred song "I'm too Smurfy". That might cheer up the Hubster. Maybe I can make it my morning wake-up song. 

Jasmine and Aaron

Quickstep (the kiss of death!)

Tony and Melanie

Pencil Full of Lead by Paolo Nutini

They make a striking couple. And did a great job! Hubster wishes they danced to "Zoot Suit Riot". God Mary Murphy's voice is SO annoying. She can't possibly be married. Maybe tonight the quickstep will get enough votes to squash the "kiss of death" reputation.  We shall see... they better not get Viennese Waltz next week.

Okay, to sum up. Nothing horrible. A couple of greats and the rest were good. Rather boring week actually. Lets's see who gets booted.

BluPrint and Mariah. Hubster called it with Mariah after he saw her initial dance. BluPrint is trying to hold it together. So with one fell swoop, one couple is gone.

And that's all I got. Time for boom beddies. 

Halloween 2013 Chronicles - Perfect Preppers

It's right around the corner... HALLOWEEN!

Hubster and I were quite busy this weekend with our prep; within two hours and four stores we were able to procure all the items (save three) that we need for the party. Here's an x-ray filtered view of the collection.

At this point, we need to finalize the character backgrounds which will likely be completed this afternoon. It is rainy and dreary outside, which happens to be perfect for the theme and we can get in the mood.  Might even have a mini fire if we can get some thunder and lightening.

If that gets done, we can have everything ready to print and put together for the invitations. Those should go out in the next week.

So far, I've hinted that the theme involves the work of Tim Curry.  No one has guessed correctly, though Devo's idea of Rocky Horror Picture Show was smart. (Maybe we'll use that next year.) The only thing that made it better was Rhett's FB posting about Tim Curry's best role was actually in Loaded Weapon 1.

SYTYCD Top 17 Perform - Season 10

Well hello there my three readers!* Time for another live blogging of So You Think You Can Dance, Season 10. Hubster is joining me in the entertainment room this evening instead of killing Zombies on the XBOX. Let's begin, shall we?

Opener - Top 18
Pretty Face (Nathan Lanier Remix) by Soley
Contemporary
Sonja Tayeh and Christopher Scott routine
Wow. Great routine, slightly ballet-esque. Very pretty. The audience was enjoying each leap into the pyre. Quite symbolic. Good costumes. No one stood out, but that is the point, they all look great together. I enjoyed the leg extensions and not quite knowing where to focus my eyes.

Jade is out of the competition due to the need for surgery. And this week's cuts won't happen until the very end of the show (which is how it SHOULD be... geez.) And the guest host is Paula Abdul? Are you freaking kidding me? Hubster points out her beverage and we both reckon she is already drunk.

Who's in Danger?
Jasmine M, BluPrint, Jenna, Curtis, Alexis and Jade.
With Jade out, there's no need to send a guy home. All three girls will dance and one will be booted.
Please don't cut Alexis! We need a tapper to make it to the final 10!
Jasmine M is a lot of floor movement and turns, but I wasn't too impressed.
Jenna looks like a dancing gazelle mated with Princess Kate. And that's a compliment.

Amy and Fik-Shun 
Paso Doble
Jean-Marc routine
Tactical Dominance by Jack Trammel
A fight to the death! I couldn't take my eyes of Amy. Awesome costumes, the black leather rocked. As Mary Murphy provides commentary, Hubs shoots an imaginary gun at her face to shut her up. Some of those leaps were astounding. That was the least boring paso doble I've seen on the show. "Hate is a ssshtrong feeling." Oh shuddup Paula Abdul *hiccup* no one wants to hear your slurry mess.

Ooo. There's a SYTYCD app! I gotta get that.

Jasmine H and Aaron
Broadway
Spencer Liff routine
They Just Keep Moving The Line (SMASH Cast version) feat. Megan Hilty
Crime scene investigation + SMASH soundtrack? Color me IN!
Was that a quadruple pirouette? OMG I heart Aaron and Jasmine H. They are PHENOM! This was vastly entertaining and ridiculously fun for a Broadway routine. I wish that they hadn't spoiled the "dead" aspect and had her finish by lying on the marked out corpse line as a final reveal. They definitely acted the characters. If these are the first two routines, I hope the rest are able to at least match this entertainment.

MacKenzie and Paul
Contemporary
Lindsay Paulina routine
No Day But Today by Idina Menzel
She's got a terminal disease and he can't deal with it. Paula Abdul talks about Make a Wish, but turns it into herself in promotion. If you didn't have the backstory, then it would just be a pretty routine. It was lovely. But I wonder if the choreographers are trying to insert a story into the dance just to get votes? Perhaps I'm being cynical. It was lovely, but nothing that I would want to re-watch numerous times. Some of the lifts were quite brilliant.

At this point the Hubster leaves the entertainment room to go take a nap. I don't know that this bodes well for the rest of the show.

Jasmine M and Alan
Jazz
Sean Cheesman routine
Veins by Charlotte Martin (this is a popular song on SYTYCD. I swear we've seen other routines to this number, but I am likely wrong. They cannot reuse songs, right?)
Royalty? Go with it. Her skirt keeps getting in the way but she deals with it well. This was fun and different. I am impressed with Alan's strength. Jasmine M was fantastic to watch, but she did a weird skirt thing at one point that felt off character, but maybe that was the choreography. Enjoyable. SO far there hasn't been a bad routine.

Jenna and Tucker
Hip Hop
Keoni and Mari Madrid (sp?)
Dangerous (immortal version) by Michael Jackson
It is so uncomfortable to watch two white people who don't do hip hop try to do hip hop. Even the song is old. I am not a fan of the routine. I don't understand the costumes or Jenna's hair plan. It was... confusing. The judges are being nice. Paula calls it a "hipster kind of jazz" which is an insult to hipsters and jazz aficionados everywhere. Now I'm just being a little harsh... but it isn't a routine I will remember. The fact that it was a Nigel favorite makes me even more uncomfortable. I want to see Tucker highlighted next week.

Malece (minus Jade who had to withdraw) so we have All-Star Marco!
Contemporary
Sonya Tayeh
In the Embers by Sleeping At Last
Was it a funeral? Candles and the black lace. Maybe it was the recent wedding for Avril Lavine and Chad Kroger? Wow. Malece is going to be an All-Star herself. This was absolutely lovely. The leg extensions and lifts were incredible. Poor Jade. He is sooooo shooting himself in his bad leg right now. The judges are singing Malece and Sonya's praises. She is completely safe. The waves at the end were powerful. Great job! Normally the routines in the middle are less good (see Hip Hop routine above) but this was fantastic.

Haley and Curtis
Samba - oh this won't go well
Jean-Marc D
Straight to Memphis by Club des Belugas
Her hips don't lie... in fact, Haley's hips are non-existent. (Sorry Paula, but you are wrong.) Either the music was too slow or they just couldn't get it together. It was like watching Samba Hour for the novices. It wasn't good. It wasn't horrible. It just wasn't entertaining. Silver Linings Playbook had a better routine. The samba is the kiss of death; right behind the waltz. Sorry Jean-Marc... what happened to your Run Lola Run red-haired accomplice this season? I have a feeling one or both of these two dancers will be in the bottom three next week.

Alexis and Nico
Spencer Liff routine
Jazz
I Put a Spell On You by Nina Simone
Nico was on point, Alexis was slightly behind on her steps. But I heart her and want her to proceed. It was an interesting idea of being under control by a hypnotist. I think that these choreographers have been reading The Night Circus and coming up with ideas. You're about a year too late folks! All the judges mention is wondering why she is in the bottom three; which means she will likely make it. Nico has the teenage girl vote.

Mariah and BluPrint
Hip Hop
Luther Brown routine
Bring the Noise by M.I.A
They made it sound so epic, but it fell flat. They weren't synched together during parts of the routine. I'm not saying I could do it, cause I know for DANG sure I can't. But it wasn't anything tremendous. And BluPrint lifting his shirt reminded me of Combs from the Navy who used to do that and it's so dumb. Maybe I have to watch it again because apparently I'm not agreeing with the judges. Paula has been drinking ... she thinks they were in sync at the beginning. Though, her comment that BluPrint was holding back is correct. BluPrint looks pissed at the judges when they say he needs to bring out his personality.

Now... which girl is going home? I'm going to go out on a limb and say Jenna.

Nope. I'm wrong. Must be Jasmine.

Yup, it's Jasmine. Alexis continues on but gets the note that she needs to LISTEN to the choreographers.

See you next Tuesday folks!!!


*And hello to all those who found this blog on a search engine. Somehow I have over 70+ readers on a Wednesday. I don't know who you are, but you are welcome to comment. Or not. Be a lurker. That's cool. Whatevs.

New Series: If Pugs Had Thumbs

http://youtu.be/lRP0DfNFpD4

Odie is the one eating... Rugen is on the left.

SYTYCD - Top 20, two are leaving

Glo called at 6:55pm and we gossiped about the winery... I missed the first part of the show. By the time I joined, Carlos and Brittany were voted out and leaving. Why didn't I have this set to DVR?

Wow! So I suppose that is the format now? The bottom four perform for their lives and then BAM! They are told to pack their bags and go. Hubster noted that Jade the Animator is basically a mime. Couldn't disagree with him.

Hayley and Curtis
Ray Leeper choreography
Jazz
Mama Knows Best by Jessie J
Showed off Hayley and her booty. Curtis seemed to get more confident as the routine progressed, especially with the final booty grab. Hubs says that Mary Murphy is an irritating version of Aunt Linda from SNL. "The only Happy Feet were MINE as I was walking outta the theater! I give this a 'Whaaaa?'"

Jasmine H and Aaron
NappyTabs
Lyrical Hip Hop
Tears Always Win by Alicia Keys
Hubs thinks Jasmine is too clumsy with her body, not as fluid as she could be. I think she was spot on with the steps, but see his point since Aaron was very good coming across with the character. I enjoyed the routine and liked them as a pairing. Lots of challenging steps and tricks. They should be safe.

Oh, and I love Kat's hair.

Jade and Malece
Bollywood
Nakul dev Mahajan choreography
Radha by Student of the Year soundtrack
Echhh. The end was choppy and there were spots that needed help. Bollywood is really tough. You really need to have a certain something in your movements. It was almost too tough a routine for them. Commentary on the costumes? She is gorgeous sparkly pixie and he could sub in for Dance Raj   on Big Bang.

Alexis and Nico
Contemporary
Stacey Tookey choreography
Old Skin by Olafur Arnalds & Arnor Dan
Sequel to going to war, now she is coming home. The truth is, when your spouse comes home, you RUN when you see your love. I know, because i was that spouse in 2003. You go so long without touching that just a hug and a kiss is weird... Great but weird and awkward and wonderful. So you are standing there in each others arms, grinning foolishly and feeling a little shy. But it's the best feeling in the world. Your love is home.
Soooo, that said, I love the song. I loved the dance. But it doesn't quite ring true for me. It needed that joy and shyness and awesome all rolled into one. These two were great, but I personally don't feel they expressed the sentiment through the characters authentically. But they are safe.

Brittany (voted off) and BluPrint
Spencer Liff choreography
Broadway
It's Oh So Quiet by not Bjork.... Ice Princess soundtrack
Did BluPrint's shirt say "My life is your vagina"??? No. it was "My Life vs. Your Vacation". Wow. I got that way wrong! I wonder if I would have watched him as closely if Brittany wasn't voted off. This was fun. This guy is an animator and did a great job. I think the judges are being a little bit harsh, but agree that BluPrint needed to sell it a bit more.

Jasmine M and ALan
Miriam and Leonardo choreography
Tango
Escape from Slavery by PP Music
She doesn't look comfy in heels, like she can't dance well in them. He was great with the exception of the strength in the lifts. He really, really needs to address the length of his pompadour. I didn't feel the passion the way Mary Murphy did. I'm not saying it's not a tough dance, it is! Although, I enjoyed the faces Christina Applegate is making when Mary speaks. Classic. Alan looks like Derek Zoolander, even down to the sucked in cheeks.

Paul and MacKensie
Sean Cheesman
??? not quite sure, didn't catch it
Mannequin by Skeet & Tito (remix)
Pre-dance, Hubster says "What are they going to do? Put him in a lab coat and her in a sexy robot outfit?" And BINGO was his name-oh. She's his Sex Robot, Sex Robot.  Very Weird Science. IT was a great song, great choreography. Wonderful dancing. Paul was fantastic with the flips. MacKensie had great emotion and movement. Did you see that foot flex?

Mariah and Carlos (going home)
Stacey Tookey choreography
Contemporary
Dead in the Water by Ellie Goulding
That was lovely, but how did it relate to a guy losing his memory? I didn't see that come across in the dance at all? I'm still not feeling a huge oomph that I have in previous years. When Christina talks about them walking forward, I'm confused. Did I watch the same routine? Are they paying for Stacey Tookey to get an Emmy? Where is this season's bench routine or hummingbird? Don't get me wrong, I heart Stacey. But I'm not getting the emotiveness that everyone else is feeling. Apparently me and the Hubs are heartless.

Amy and Fikshun
NappyTabs choreography
Hip Hop
After Party by Dorrough Music
That was fun! Both were fantastic and silly. Great faces. Awesome moves. I thought the idea was rather... odd... but it worked! She was MUCH better than I expected. They are like bitty fun dancers; she looks a little like Katie Holmes. No? They're safe.

Jenna and Tucker
Cha Cha
Dmitry Chaplin
I Like It Like That by Pete Rodriguez (omg. really? srlsy? I hate this song.)
At least it was a remix. Not sure why they chose this for the finale. She did great. Hubs shot an imaginary gun at Mary on the tv while she gave feedback, then blew away the smoke. It was entertaining. Jenna's walk off was not timed with the steps. Why are the judges being so nice tonight? Nigel calls it when he says here isn't enough Cha Cha... but that's the kiss of death on the death, do a classic ballroom dance style and you get voted off.

That's all from Lake Wobegone. Thoughts?