Le sigh

Here is Gigantor and Utah (AKA: The Bobsey Twins) looking sweet in their pastels. 

And then a picture of Trish the Dish doing a runway walk.

It's been a silly day.

Overheard in the Office - Q3 2012

• Water is GOOD for you!
• Is her a lot older than you? 
• I don't know how to land a plane. You don't know how to brand something. Go land a &$%&(@)# plane!
• It's called SMART but there's nothing smart about their org chart. 
• We CAN stand peeing, but we don't want to. But it's a great quad work out. 
• These people aren't camping here. 
• It's all about the human touch.
• That's why the she-urinal didn't catch on. 
• I have a date with an 85 year old. so it should wrap up early.
• Well, I don't crave dirt so....
• I couldn't get enough suger in my pie-hole.
• Oh, Bernie does! See? There's another black guy who golfs.
• Omigod, funeral homes are way too trusting.

The Tie Tuseday I Wasn't There

Today I am in Los Angeles for a work event that's going to be AWWWWWWESOOOOOME!

That said, I think Adame and Utah miss me.

They're feeling a little sideways though.

Quadruple Music Friday - Mumford & Sons, Electric Guest, Cas Haley, The Lumineers

This is just waiting for  it's own playlist.



Thanks to Adame for finding this song.


Even if Utah doesn't like reggae, I do. So there.


And this one is way too much fun.

Overheard at the Office - Q1 2012

• You put “NO” because you’re not a felon. They don’t need to know the rest of that stuff, Grandma.
• I’d let Clinton knock me up. That’d be okay.
• You know if I go to the trouble to get up a tree, I’m going to do more than kiss there.
• Do it like I do my husband and take a bite of your beans.
• This was back in high school when everyone thought I was a lesbian.
• Yeah, but more like a Sales Associate Sandwich.
• I want a ghost to pinch me on the butt!
• Trish would be that butt pinching ghost.
• Onions remind me of armpit. And I won’t eat armpit.
• It hit horny… I mean FORNEY!
• What time is your three o’clock?
• Dude! Come have some beef with Stephanie. MOOOOO.
• Maybe it all goes back to Pangea when we were all the same continent.  
• Oh my god Ivanny. CAN YOU EVEN DRIVE??!
• Well, get em filled and bring em in, I’ll buy em from you.
• I’m a dark white. You’re a light black.
• You’ve got poor blood circulation in your extremities. Not all of them. I love the big fat ones.
• And guys in closets… but not that kind of closet. 
• It wasn’t a homoerotic barechested model, right?
• It has only taken me nearly 4 years to throw out ‘boobs’ in a meeting.  
• I can only handle it in my mouth for so long.
• I need Clayton to suck my belly.
• We need pilots in hot pants.
• Hey, I’m all for moving bits, in the appropriate setting.
• Then we can say we’ve got Jake Ryan’s stool! 
• I’d be a lollipop girl for $30.
• I’m being a feminist here! I don’t believe that we should segregate the sexes! Well, except for the bathrooms.
• Let me just make sure you get one thing straight missy, I’m a giver!
• Enrique got the clap from Tom?
• It’s unanimous. Get us the blue balls.

 Trish is pretty much leading the charge on inappropriate things to say in office at this point.  But Jamie is making up for lost time.

The Return of Tie Tuesday

I did not partake. Remember when Tie Tuesday jumped the shark? Maybe it will make an eventual return. But I doubt it.

What I Learned in January

I learned more than this, but wasn't able to capture it all.

Iron Mountain picks up every Tuesday.
Stuff about solar cells and cosmic weirdness.
Spyware can run as a service on a laptop.
I need to add Patrick to my Zombie Apocalypse team.
Shepherd is spelled with an “e” not an “a”
Corona is a high-point beer in Utah.
There are 2 different alcohol points in Utah.
The state bird in Utah is the seagull and the state bird is the seagull lily.
Utah has not heard of A Flock of Seagulls.
How to spell connoisseur.
UPS = uninterruptible power supply

Utah and a bunch of birds

True exchange this morning with Utah.

G: Hey Utah, teach me something about the state of Utah? I need to learn something new today.
U: What do you want to know?
G: I don't know. Are there black people in Utah?
U: Some, not much. I don't know the percentage.
G: Can you buy liquor?
U: Yes, but you have to go to the state liquor store. You can't buy beers over a certain percentage of alcohol either. I think it's like 5%. So, you have to buy high point beer at the state liquor store too. Which is why we have two kinds of Corona, one is higher than the other.
G: Wow!
U: Yup.
G: What else?
U: Oh, the state bird is the seagull and the state flower is the seagull lilly-
G: -Wait, wait, wait a minute. How can the state bird be a seagull? Utah isn't near the sea.
U: Well, when the Mormons settled in Utah back in 1847, or whatever year it was, they depended on the crops to live. And one year, a whole bunch of Mormon crickets, which are crickets, just really big crickets... anyway these crickets started eating up all the crops. Then one day, a flock of seagulls appeared-
G: - Wait, what?!
U: A flock of seagulls. (looks perplexed at me on why I am questioning this.)
G: Did the Mormons run? Did they run so far away?
U: Huh?
G: Well, you said a Flock of Seagulls appeared.
U: Oh, is it called something else? Um, a whole bunch of seagulls? Anyway, the seagulls appeared and they ate the crickets. Saving the Mormons crops and they lived, so that's why seagulls are the state bird.
G: (immediately googling the video for I Ran (So Far Away) to educate Utah about 80s music.) Um Utah, have you never heard of A Flock of Seagulls?
U: Ummmmm, from the way you're looking at me I feel like I should have. (plays video)

(Adame and Trish the Dish come over to my desk and start dancing and singing with me, Utah continues to stare at the screen confused.)
G: Don't worry Utah, I have an older brother, so I know more about 80s music than you do, maybe that's it.
U: No, I have a few older brothers...
G: Well you should text them and ask if they know who The Flock of Seagulls are.
U: No, if I did that they would think I was crazy, texting them about seagulls... (he walks off)

Well, that's what I actually learned today. Utah doesn't know who the Flock of Seagulls are.

Tie Tuesday - The One Without Me

Utah is in a lovely pink tie, Windsor-knotted as usual, crafted by Umo Lorenzo of Italy.
Adame's Public Opion number has little beer bottles all over it.
And Dimples McGee sports a black number of unknown origin.

I was not invited to the picture as I am not wearing a traditional tie... more of a jaunty purple scarf tied in front. Boooo. (And while KelBel thinks I look cute in this picture, I think I look super cheese.)

2011 : The Wall Wrapup

Nothing good comes from condoms and woodchips.
I am Trish Farley. I can say these things.
He could be constipated for all I know.
Some people have dashing good looks, some people have hard nips. I have both.
So we keep tugging and never finish?
Kiril, come here so I can smell you.
Are you pregnant or just fat?
I’m a slutty slut.
(whispering) And we’re with a “black” guy!
Don’t you want to just touch it! – Yes, it amazes me.
I’ve gotten older with age.
I’ve give you some honey but my honey got hard
I have to use the bathroom (operated by…)
What did I learn last night? You’re much nicer when you’re drunk.
He’s screwing us with porcupine needles and no grease!
Does he whack people? – Depends on your interpretation of “whack”.
You had me at pilot.
How do you spell Pocahontas? - Very carefully.
Oh, I got a mouthful from a pilot - A mouthful of what?

What I Learned in the month of December

On the 12th Day of Christmas, my workmates taught me...

Christmas trees are only "mildly" toxic.
There is no Gary Phenomenon.
Triple in Italian is triplo.
There are 17 carbs in a Grande Peppermint Mocha.
Mantequilla is Spanish for butter.
How to write my name in Macedonian.
Marketing accounts for 20 million US jobs.

Whooooooo is looking for a jaawwwwwwwb!

AKB48 is sixty Japanese girls singing.
Why Joe Black has an office.
It's good to bring in beer.

... and a partridge in a pear tree!

Tie Tuesday - The one in which I learn it's not tripio

Adame was all like "I'm going to rock this shizz with meh coat on!"
Utah said I looked prettier last week (um ... burn?)
And KelBel thought my paisley tie was retro awesome.

At Starbucks, my drink is a doppio espresso con panna. But when I want another shot, I tell them a tripio. Which is what I ordered today. I thought I should actually learn what the Italian word for triple is. It's triplo. And how did I learn this? By googling, of course. What was more entertaining is the very first link that comes up is the definition of Italian for Triple... is for Urban Dictionary. (Not exactly safe for work)

https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&site=&q=italian+for+triple&oq=italian+for+triple&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&gs_sm=e&gs_upl=2922l6297l0l6422l18l17l0l3l2l1l235l1908l1.12.1l14l0&biw=1280&bih=843&cad=cbv&sei=wzfeTt7fLZKCsAKQvtTxBg


(blush)

Tie Tuesday : Dark and Twisty

Adame was "home sick"* Boo. Gigantor punked out. Dimples McGee is off in Hawaii getting his engagement on. NamNamNams didn't participate (nor his Nam nips.) Hello Bruce did play in the Tie Tuesday field - was wearing the same black tie, but under a lovely sweater vest - I just didn't get him up here in time for the photo. No idea about The Beast, he may or may not be wearing a tie. Adame is the one who usually puts these photo ops together, so I was out of my element.

All that said, we had to use Utah's phone to snap a picture and it came out rather devilish, which is rather exciting since Utah is a Mormon. He's wearing a Nuovo Moda purple number (was quite dashing) and I'm in a green/blue/yellow Louis of Boston. I say the colors specifically again because it looks like this was taken underwater, at night, without a moon, and filtered by a snorkel mask.

Boo yah.

*"Home sick" is about the equivalent of "waiting for the cable guy" or "doctor's appointment". It basically means we think you are interviewing for another job.

Tie Tuesday - Slightly Suggestive

I bought a new pair of red Chuck Taylor's this weekend (shout out to my Famous Footwear Dude who gave me a friends and family discount of 30% off!) As I needed an excuse to wear said shoes, Tie Tuesday provided a perfect opportunity. So thanks Tie Tuesday! I got to wear my sneaks all day long. If only I could make a case for Birkenstocks...

Right-o, let's move on with the show. From left to right!

FAR LEFT: My new buddy from numero tres, THE BEAST! Very handsome Michael Kors number with a cross hatch thingy going on. Looking good Beast, see you next Tuesday.*

SECOND FROM LEFT: Dimples McGee has a jaunty, Geoffrey Beene striped number.

MIDDLE: NamNamNams actually showed up IN A SUIT! What the what? Okay, I was half expecting a Brooks Brothers polo and a bow tie. He didn't just bring it, he brought it! Upped the class in the crew with his Burberry stylings. (Hey NamNamNams... When are you starting that Nam's Noms blog?)

SECOND FROM RIGHT: Adame in a whimsical Tommy Hilfiger. I have a feeling Adame was responsible for the tie draping over NamNamNams. It's been a slightly charged workplace of late. Peeps are pregnant, getting married, having babies... lots of love happening on the 4th Floor. So, it should come as no surprise that Adame wants to fling his tie about onto other men.

RIGHT: Me. Although you cannot see previously mentioned shoes, they match my Hitman-esque Joseph & Feiss tie. Decided to rock the full on double pony tails all the way (all the way) though they turned into braids after a discussion with a former flight attendant downstairs. Now I look less like a Japanese School Girl and more like Pocahontas.

Sadly, Hello Bruce was unable to make an appearance for the picture. I saw him much earlier and he was awesome sauce in the skinny black tie under a sweater-vest. Very hipstery, in a good hipster way. Utah is OOO, probably off drinking caffeine and reading dirty mags... whatever those Mormons do.

*After typing that sentence, I realized that it has an alternate meaning; one in which I am most likely NOT calling The Beast. In fact, it's really more applicable to my gender. But I wouldn't use that word.**

** Okay, I might use that word. But I'd only say it to someone who really was a major c u next tuesday.

Tie Tuesday

Bound and determined to make today less stressful and "tie" up loose ends (horribly bad pun intended.) Here's a snapshot of today's participants.

Hello Bruce* (far left) is rocking the skinny, black tie; very retro and uber cool of him (as always!)

Next, we have Utah "busily working" in a yellow Jones of New York number. His color palette choices are quite springy and floopy. I'm digging it and glad that the white number did not appear again today. Good job Utah!

Adame, Tie Tuesday Godfather, has a very busy Gap piece featuring hundreds of little life preservers. There's a joke there about life preservers and work, but it's not coming to me.

And then me, looking rather portly to be honest, in my signature Brioni tie. It's sticky in thiis office today. Like humid sticky. No one knows why.



*Hello Bruce. You have to say it with the same inflection/tone/style as seen in the Pixar hit, "Finding Nemo". "Helloooooo Bruce"