Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Utah and a bunch of birds

True exchange this morning with Utah.

G: Hey Utah, teach me something about the state of Utah? I need to learn something new today.
U: What do you want to know?
G: I don't know. Are there black people in Utah?
U: Some, not much. I don't know the percentage.
G: Can you buy liquor?
U: Yes, but you have to go to the state liquor store. You can't buy beers over a certain percentage of alcohol either. I think it's like 5%. So, you have to buy high point beer at the state liquor store too. Which is why we have two kinds of Corona, one is higher than the other.
G: Wow!
U: Yup.
G: What else?
U: Oh, the state bird is the seagull and the state flower is the seagull lilly-
G: -Wait, wait, wait a minute. How can the state bird be a seagull? Utah isn't near the sea.
U: Well, when the Mormons settled in Utah back in 1847, or whatever year it was, they depended on the crops to live. And one year, a whole bunch of Mormon crickets, which are crickets, just really big crickets... anyway these crickets started eating up all the crops. Then one day, a flock of seagulls appeared-
G: - Wait, what?!
U: A flock of seagulls. (looks perplexed at me on why I am questioning this.)
G: Did the Mormons run? Did they run so far away?
U: Huh?
G: Well, you said a Flock of Seagulls appeared.
U: Oh, is it called something else? Um, a whole bunch of seagulls? Anyway, the seagulls appeared and they ate the crickets. Saving the Mormons crops and they lived, so that's why seagulls are the state bird.
G: (immediately googling the video for I Ran (So Far Away) to educate Utah about 80s music.) Um Utah, have you never heard of A Flock of Seagulls?
U: Ummmmm, from the way you're looking at me I feel like I should have. (plays video)

(Adame and Trish the Dish come over to my desk and start dancing and singing with me, Utah continues to stare at the screen confused.)
G: Don't worry Utah, I have an older brother, so I know more about 80s music than you do, maybe that's it.
U: No, I have a few older brothers...
G: Well you should text them and ask if they know who The Flock of Seagulls are.
U: No, if I did that they would think I was crazy, texting them about seagulls... (he walks off)

Well, that's what I actually learned today. Utah doesn't know who the Flock of Seagulls are.


Anonymous said...

Dude, you can't make me laugh this hard without warning me first. I need to be prepared with Albuterol. LJ

Anonymous said...

Even after all this time, rereading this calls for tissues and breathing support. LJ