Wednesday, January 28, 2015

It is always interesting when you order the second bottle

In sixth grade, Johnny wanted to be my boyfriend. He had the chin dimple of John Travolta and an absolute swagger of Mick Jagger. He was cute. And fun. He was the guy that girls wanted to be with and the dude guys wanted to know.

I wanted to be with Ed, the head of the drum line. I settled for Johnny because he was his best friend.

I don't remember when I first started dating Johnny (meaning, when we first held hands. Our dating adventure never left middle school grounds to an "actual" date. It was all wrapped up in 8 am  to 3 pm class romance.)

I vaguely remember breaking up with Johnny. Though, I couldn't tell you the words I said, even if I remembered.

I wanted Ed. I wanted the leader of the drum line. I wanted the boy who was indifferent and does not recognize me.

Monday, January 26, 2015

Music Monday - Running For Cover by Ivan and Aloysha

For a short period of time in college, I had a boyfriend named Sean. He had dated one of my sorority sisters seriously for a while; I believe he broke her heart and I never asked her sisterly permission to date him. I just did.

Sean was a brown-haired, blue-eyed, short white boy from an upper middleclass family. He wanted to be an Engineer. I immediately knew this would never work out, but I went with it anyway. I remember on our first date, my roommate took a photo of us together. I wore a pink strapless dress and thought "Yes, this is what a normal girl does. Date this boy. Have your picture taken like it's prom, and then it will show up on the silly wedding pre-roll that people do nowadays." I didn't really like him that much. He was too nice. But this is what I was supposed to do. Date the nice guy in the baby blue polo, smile, and be a good girl.

I would sneak cigarettes when he wasn't around. I drank like a fish and flirted with all the bar-backs. He made me special CDs with personal messages at the beginning that started with "I love you... I love you SO much!" I was embarrassed. He gave me his fraternity letters on a necklace and I wanted to hurl them into the Sacramento river. He loved a version of me that even I didn't like that much. 

Monday, January 19, 2015

Music Monday: Bebe Rexha, Jon Bellion, Bob Schneider

"I'm Going to Show You Crazy" by Bebe Rexha

Aren't we all, really? Show me some one "normal" and I bet they have more twisted dark passengers inside them than most.

"Luxury" by Jon Bellion

And here's how you deal with the crazy.

"Let the Light In" by Bob Schneider

It's Monday. Hopefully it won't be a rough week for anyone. If it gets crazy, just listen to this on repeat until you can breathe normally again.

Friday, January 16, 2015

I very well could be the strangest person you know today

It all started earlier this week when Neavsey came into work with Chick-fil-A.
“I can’t believe you bought homophobic food,” I said indignantly.
“Don’t be mad at the chicken.” She then proceeded to show me a hilarious parody of three trans-ladies mocking Wilson Phillips and singing about Chick-Fil-A.

I confessed that I do, in fact, miss the waffle fries.

Next morning, Hurricane Benji graces us with his presence and he is munching on Whataburger. My taste buds immediately salivate and I think about getting drive-thru from an A-frame… mmm. It was like a Homer Simpson moment when Neavesy became a burger and Benji turned into an onion ring.

Since I haven’t been waking up on the right-side of the bed lately (literally, I’ve been getting up on the left) I didn’t bring a lunch. It’s Friday so going out felt like a good option. I texted my buddy Ford Prefect for a date…

Alright, you know what? I’m DOING this!
I’m sure it’s been done before, but I am actually going to three different fast food locales to get the best portions of a meal to make the ULTIMATE FAST FOOD BURGER LUNCH EXPERIENCE.

I left the office at 12pm and made it back at 1:05pm.
Here is the route I took:

I selected medium potato waffle fries from Chik-Fil-A (400 calories, 21 grams of fat, 48 carbs) with one packet of ketchup. Those were wolfed in-route to In-N-Out where I got a cheeseburger animal-style (480 calories, 27grams of fat, 39 carbs). Then next part of journey had me going up the access road with multiple red lights; I was able to finish the burger quite literally in line at the DRIVE THRU at Whataburger.

Here I was stumped. A milkshake? A dessert? I opted for a hot apple pie. OMG. I’m really stuffed and don’t want to eat this… but I must take at least a few bites or this was all for naught. Since I only had a few bites (which burnt the top of my mouth with its lava-like apple spew) I’m going to round down to half of the actual nutrition (130 calories, 114 grams of fat, 7 carbs)

Just to sum up: My ridiculousness took 65 minutes. I saw three private jets overhead. I listened (and sang along) to about 10 or so songs on KXT. I nearly rear-ended someone on Beltline. I learned Whataburger doesn’t have bottled water and I spent about $5.60 in total. I did it… but it’s not something I’d necessarily do again. Unless we figured in curly fries from Jack-In-the-Box, a hot fudge sundae from Dairy Queen… no NO NO!!! This is going to take 3 full work out sessions to negate my gluttony.

And just as I post this, I get another text from Ford, “How was crazy lunch?"

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Chips and Chats

Elsa Cat is shooting a :30 :60 :90 spot for our company today, and as the Nosey Nellie I am, I wanted to go over and check it out. Before doing so, it was lunchtime and I asked Neavesy if she wanted to hit up Chuy's.
"Sure, I guess. I've never been."
How is this possible? A Texas native who had not been to Chuy's?

Off we went. Chips were had. Jalapeno ranch was dipped. Tacos devoured. (No alcoholic beverages were consumed.)
Here is the range of topics we discussed in the space of an hour:

Oscars: nominations, movies, best pictures, what we need to see (Selma, American Soldier, Theory of Everything), most won awards and Disney
Whoppi Goldberg
Audrey Hepburn
Lewis CK
Black Jeopardy
Everything is Awesome
Lego movie not being made of legos

The conversation had a great cadence which continued on to the shoot where we met up with Elsa Cat and talked for two hours. I'm loving my team.

(I texted KelBel and PinTrish a photo of the chips and dips, just to rub it in their faces. They weren't too amused.)

Monday, January 12, 2015

Music Monday - Things You Think You've Heard Before

"Tightrope" by Janelle Monae

"1904" by The Tallest Man On Earth

"Your Silent Face" by Fujiya & Miyagi