Sean was a brown-haired, blue-eyed, short white boy from an upper middleclass family. He wanted to be an Engineer. I immediately knew this would never work out, but I went with it anyway. I remember on our first date, my roommate took a photo of us together. I wore a pink strapless dress and thought "Yes, this is what a normal girl does. Date this boy. Have your picture taken like it's prom, and then it will show up on the silly wedding pre-roll that people do nowadays." I didn't really like him that much. He was too nice. But this is what I was supposed to do. Date the nice guy in the baby blue polo, smile, and be a good girl.
I would sneak cigarettes when he wasn't around. I drank like a fish and flirted with all the bar-backs. He made me special CDs with personal messages at the beginning that started with "I love you... I love you SO much!" I was embarrassed. He gave me his fraternity letters on a necklace and I wanted to hurl them into the Sacramento river. He loved a version of me that even I didn't like that much.