Music Monday - "A Little Respect" by Erasure

True story.

I was a freshman in high school, only 14 years old, and had a crush on our marching band's 2nd Drum Major*, Kurt Aufderheide. He was blonde, blue-eyed, tall and Mormon. (Now that I think about it, I had a thing for blondes in high school.)  I do not think that I ever had a real conversation with Kurt; he was a senior like my brother and ate lunch on the upper quad, whereas I was with all the other freshmen by our lockers, too scared to leave the safety of a mass group.

One afternoon, I called our local pop radio station, Star 100.7, and requested that they play a song.  The conversation went something like this:

DJ: Star 100.7! Who is this?
Me: Ummm. Glynis?
DJ: Hey Gwyneth, what's going on?
Me: Uhhh, can you play a song for me? A Little Respect by Erasure?
DJ: Sure thing, who do you want to dedicate this too?
Me: (not expecting this) Oh, um? Kurt Aufderhide? *stunned that this came out of my mouth*
DJ: Ooo! Is this your boyfriend?
Me: NO!!!
DJ: Well does he have your number?
Me: I'm sure he can figure out where to get it.
DJ: Alright then! Here's Erasure with "A Little Respect" going out to Kurt Aufderheide from Gwyneth!



Even though the DJ called me Gwyneth, everyone knew it was me. Didn't matter though because I taped it onto a cassette (did you know they record those conversations during the commercials, not live?) and planed to give that tape to Kurt.

The next day at school, I got up the nerve to take the tape to Kurt (I think my phone number was written on the outside.) He was surrounded by a bunch of girls and somehow I got the nerve to break in and give him the tape, say a squeeky "Hi!" and run away.

He never called.

And I think he got a Mormon girlfriend a few weeks later. She was blonde, blue-eyed and played the trumpet. AND A FRESHMAN!

Where's Kurt today?

In Baghdad. Being awesome. Getting awards. And political stuff. Working on labor issues and probably solving world hunger.

Me?
Jets for the 0.01%.
Living the dream!

We won Tournament of Champions that year. 1992 Field Show. And if you don't believe how awesome marching band can be, you gotta check out this video... of us... THE EMERALD BRIGADE!



*The 2nd Drum Major is at the back of the field, so that when you march facing away from the front, you can still keep in time. 

OMFG! MY NOT-SO-SECRET UBER CRUSH HAS A NEW SONG!!!

You know me, (or maybe you don't - so go with me on this,) I love Robbie Williams. I really do. He's my Elvis. My Beatles.  (Insert your very important person here - it could even be this guy.)

Smoochie boochiums Mister Gibb!

I love Robbie. I have all his albums, even the imports. I have his DVDs. I have books about him, I flew to Amsterdam to see him in concert. I had a poster over my bed of the Robster during COLLEGE! I do not believe the boyfriends I had during this period liked it very much, but I didn't care. I.... HEART.... RW! (updated: just remember that I had the poster on the wall of my closet through the first year of my marriage.)

Too make a long story short (too late) back in 2003 or so I had the amazing opportunity to meet him in person at a radio station interview/performance. He won't remember meeting me of course;  he was there in all his Rob-Glory, taking photos, signing autographs, kissing the girls - this was pre-wife of course - and yes, I got one of those kisses. Even more awesome is that Hubster was overseas fighting in that little Iraq thingy so it TRULY made my day.  (Hubster has since gotten over it... I think... how can you turn down a kiss from THIS guy?)

Amiright?!?

So imagine my SQUEEEEEEE when I heard he's releasing a new album! 

Here's the video for the first single.

First listen:
Great beat and bouncy. Oh, I want to work out to this one! I want to dance to it. I WANT TO BUY IT NOW AND LISTEN TO IT OVER AND OVER!

Second time:
Trying to get the chorus down.

Hey Ho. Here's she goes.
either a little too high or something blow 
no self esteem and vertigo (?)
and she thinks she's a pansy (?)
Hey Ho. Here we go.
a little too loud or a little too slow?
there's a hurricane in the back of her nose and 
She thinks she's made of candy (?)

Three times a charm!
You gotta love a song with brass. I'm so self-obsessed I think he's singing about me and I'm the girl he's angel shadowing. *sigh* Any whooooo, here's what I'm pretty sure the lyrics are:

Candy - Robbie Williams, lyrics

I was there to witness

Candice's inner princess

She wants the boys to notice

Her rainbows and ponies

She was educated

But could not count to ten

Now she got lots of different horses

By lots of different men and I say

Liberate your

sons and daughters

the push is high but

in the hole there’s water

You can get some

When their given

Nothing’s sacred

but it’s a livin’

CHORUS

Hey Ho. Here she go.
Either a little too high or a little too low
Got No self esteem and vertigo
Cause she thinks she's made of candy.
Hey Ho. Here she go.
a little too loud or a little too close
Got a hurricane in the back of her throat and

She thinks she's made of candy

Ring a ring a roses

Whoever gets the closest

She comes and she goes

As the war of the roses

Mother was a victim

Father beat the system

By moving bricks to Brixton

And learning how to fix them

Liberate your

sons and daughters

the push is high

but in the hole there’s water

as you wish

you’ll be the (unknown)

if it don’t feel good

what are you doing it for

now tell me

CHORUS

(repeat)

 
'Take The Crown' will be released on November 5th. 


* 'I' before 'E' except after 'C' ... and apparently 'H'.

The New Top Five

You know the list. The Top Five list.

Hubster's is Halle Berry, Angelina Jolie, Salma Hayak, Amanda Seyfried and Gwyneth Paltrow (as Pepper Potts and only as Pepper Potts) ... and that's not exactly in order, though close.
I look at the list and see a common theme; can you guess what it is? Not-so-secretly, I am delighted with his choices. I concur on a sapphic front.

This evening, I revised my top five to the Hubster's delight.

1) Jason Statham
No change at number one; you can blame the topless oil scene in Transporter or his dashing ways in The Italian Job. "If it's on the menu." You can be an appetizer, main course or dessert for all I care. Yummy. Congrats Jason, you held first position.

2) Bradley Cooper
New to the list. A ridiculous pretty boy that I normally would scoff at... his role in The A-Team squashed my once hoitty-toity prerequisites to garner an add at number two. (Replacing Sidney Poitier circa To Sir, With Love. Sorry Mister Poitier, a wonderful excursion in your Bahamian homeland was wonderful, but I crave something new. Hubster is sad Poitier got bumped. Frowny face and all.)

3) Daniel Craig
Adding to the list of white Brits, much to my chagrin as an equal opportunity salivator, is the current James Bond. Three words. Blue + trunks + beach. Please sir, can I have another? Daniel Craig bumps Josh Holloway (LOST's Sawyer) as we have not seen his awesome sauceness in a while. Make a movie Josh and you might get a second chance.

4) John Malkovich
Whether toying with your emotions in Dangerous Liaisons or commanding the table in The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, he's a pretty safe bet in the bedroom. Strong. Resolute. Wicked. Would that I could, I'd add Martin Freeman to the line-up for a damn good show. Unsure of his kissing abilities, I imagine that the awkwardness and goofiness would add to the evenings entertainment. Or, Mos Def. That would be lovely. Mmm. Maybe Mos Def will find his way back on the Top 5. That said, Malkovich remains unchanged at number four.

5) Robbie Williams
Oh RW my RW. How wonderful that we shared two stolen seconds in San Diego. I know you are married now, as I am also in wedded bliss; but as the longest remaining member on the Top Five, I simply cannot remove you. The mooning at the camera in the Millennium video has a Beezlebub signed and sealed contract. I don't know how to quit you.

Which sadly removes Takeshi Kaneshiro, Brian White and Naveen Andrews. Should I run into any of the three of you, I unfortunately cannot flirt to the prescribed level of awesomeness. You've missed the G List, I am exceptionally sad to report.

Too bad, so sad.

Tackett, the cat and the Jehovah's Witnesses

2001, 5th Avenue apartment in the gayborhood. Hillcrest, San Diego. 7am. Saturday morning.

We're hungover. Navy guys passed out all over the living room.

Knock knock knock at the door.

Hubster walks to answer the door; as he passes through the front room, he sees Tackett (a real piece of work, BTW) swallow the worm from a left over bottle of tequila, holding a conversation with our cat.

Hubster answers the door.

It's the Jevovah's Wintesses.

Witnesses: "Do you have a moment to talk about God?"

Hubster: "I've got a guy for you to talk to."

Hubs closes the door and walks back into the room and tells Tackett, "It's for you."

Tackett gets up from the floor, unsteadily, and weaves his way towards the front door.

Hubster wanders back to the bedroom and passes out, face first, into the mattress.

I'm reading a book, glance up to see what's going on, and listen in to the conversation at the door.

Witnesses to Tackett: "Do you have a moment to talk about God?"

Tackett: "I was just talking to the cat about that very same thing! Do you have a moment to come in?"

Witnesses, slowly backing away down the stairs: "Umm, no, that's okay. We can come back some other time."

Tackett follows them down the stairs: "Wait a minute! This cat knows SOMETHING!"

Witnesses literally start running away with fear.

Tackett walks back into the living room and tells the cat "Can you believe that? They never will breach our walls again!" And then falls on his face, passing out. Going into a loud snore.

We never did see those Jehovah's Witnesses again.