Thursday, November 10, 2011

The ridiculousness of the “REPLY ALL” email function

Setup: We will be having a Thanksgiving holiday meal for the employees in our corporate office next week. Surprisingly, our Social Committee has been lackadaisical on getting the protein portion of the meal firmed up.

20 minutes of the meeting was going back and forth about the reason we weren’t having Honey Baked Ham THIS year, but we are going to have it NEXT year, because some people will only eat ham if it’s Honey Baked Ham; but the ham that we CAN get (which isn’t Honey Baked Ham) is going to be cold and “is it alright to serve cold ham? I like to eat my ham hot” - but as far as I was concerned, it’s a moot point, cause I don’t eat freaking ham!

Then, it was positioned that we would just get a few cold turkeys and put sliced deli-style turkey breast out for people to eat because the turkeys give the effect of Thanksgiving but we really cannot afford to get full turkeys for everyone. I asked “why we don’t we just get the turkey breasts from the deli at Tom Thumb that are already cooked and hot?” This apparently started a mini-riot in the board room. Whoopsie Daisy.

At this point, Joe Black interrupted the turkey-talk and got the actual deets from the Head Committee member, who is lovely and fearless but really doesn’t need to be need deep in the gravy of the turkey-travesty. “How much is in our budget for meat? How many do we need to feed?” Getting all the information together on paper, it was then decided that I would contact Tom Thumb and find out. (I love Tom Thumb, they keep kosher.)

Joe Black and I jumped into his new ride, the Dodge Challenger. (Ironic he bought a Challenger. Well, ironic if you know why… I digress.) We gathered the information and I brought back to the Social Committee for their feedback, remembering that the Head Commmittee member specifically asked me to send out the feedback to the entire Social Committee distribution list. It would behoove me to note that there are twenty people on the committee and only 5-7 show up for meetings regularly.

My original email
Joe Black and I ran out to visit Sam’s Club and Tom Thumb. The best course of action is probably thus:
Sam’s $2.99/lb spiral ham. Cold. 65 lbs = $194.35 + tax = @ $210
Tom Thumb. $2.49/lb cooked turkey. HOT! ($15 charge per turkey for hot.) 8 turkeys at 10-12lbs each = @ $320
Total = about $530

And then, of course… because it was a group distribution and everyone had feedback and EVERYONE clicked REPLY ALL… these are all the INDIVIDUAL emails I received, and the rest of the committee received, all because of freaking turkey and ham. I couldn't make up these repsonses if I tried.

  • Awesome! Let's do it.

  • Are the hams going to be cold? Is there a way for us to heat them up or is everyone going to have to heat up individual plates?

  • One option I can think of there is if we each take a few and put them in the oven on warm at our respective houses. Or, we slice them and warm them in the microwaves before all the employees arrive. Or, they stay cold and if an employee wants it warm, they heat it themselves.

  • Or…..maybe we can purchase the turkeys and hams from a place that can heat them before we pick them up. Boston Market might be a good choice

  • In the past, the hams have always been cold and if people want it warm they use the microwaves. Some people do like it cold and its easier for those that want it warm to warm it than for those that may want it cold to chill it!

  • Everybody’s got a bright idea.

  • Since we have no way to keep the Ham’s warm once we are here, I think it is best to microwave them just before serving. Will the Turkey’s be delivered or brought in just before serving?

  • People will be happy with free food – cold or hot. Don’t worry about it. You have warm turkey and cold ham.

  • To be honest, you can never please everyone with everything anyway. Some like ham hot, some cold. Again, they will just love the free food.

  • Besides, all pot luck items will not stay warm since people are bringing things in at 8am.

  • They will be heating other things in the microwave also. Let them decide on their own.

  • It will be wonderful just because it’s Thanksgiving!

  • Sounds good to me.

Smacking head on desk.

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