I Don't Want to Be the Humbug!

Context: I’m on the Social Committee and am reporting the winners of the holiday raffles happening today.  There are quite a few people who really REALLY want to win a new iPad or a gift certificate.  I feel for them, I do.  But with 800 employees and only 30 gifts, the chances are rather slim.  I got this email in my Social Committee inbox….

From: Mrs. Flight Attendant
Sent: Wednesday, December 19, 2012 1:45 PM
To: Social Committee
Subject: RE: Flexjet 2012 Raffle

Mrs. Claus?

If you have any compassion in your heart, you will pull my name from the drawing bowl.

I have never “won” anything at X – been here a long time – and have been really good this year!

If I don’t win, then I am going to revert back to my ole “bad ways” and enjoy myself !!!!

Any questions, Mrs. Claus?

Your “Good” Girl Downstairs

From: Social Committee
Sent: Wednesday, December 19, 2012 1:47 PM
To: Mrs. Flight Attendant
Subject: RE: Flexjet 2012 Raffle

GG Downstairs,

Unfortunately I have zero hand in picking the winners.  That task was left to Mama Christmas herself, Ms. X (President).  Sadly, I only report the wins (of which I am ineligible.) L  I feel your pain GG Downstairs.  Let’s crack open a bottle of wine and go ahead and be bad.

Mrs. Claus

From: Mrs. Flight Attendant
Sent: Wednesday, December 19, 2012 1:51 PM
To: Social Committee
Subject: RE: Flexjet 2012 Raffle

We are sad to report that the former GG Downstairs has left the building and gone back to her lascivious ways (and she’s old enough to know what that word means)  !!  

She asked not to be contacted unless:  (1) she FINALLY won something or, (2) a chilled Santa Margehrita Pinot Grigio was left in an ice bucket outside her door!!

Take that, Mrs. Claus !!  

Executive Assistant to the former GG Downstairs