Monday, April 2, 2012

Three Alternating Innuendos

SETUP: I’m headed back to my cubicle from elsewhere. In one hand, I have a bag from Sprouts full of trail mix. I’m chomping on a Brazil nut and some pumpkin seeds. I see a colleague chatting with a gentleman and leading him into a conference room (it appears to be an interview.) My colleague was not born in the United States; so while she has absolutely superb English, she is also unfamiliar with all our American slaying and statements.

While not eavesdropping, I can’t help but hear her say to the gentleman, “So you must be comfortable pitching a tent then?” The guy turns bright red and appears to stumble a little.

I nearly wee my pants.

She deposits him in the conference room and walks towards me.

Me: Hey, um Bonnie? Do you know what “pitching a tent” means?
Bonnie: Of course I do. He’s an outdoorsman.
Me: Well, right, there’s that. But it also has another meaning.
Bonnie: It does? What?
Me: Er, yes. When young men, um, when they.. um. Like if they get excited and… they … well crumbcake. Okay, if a guy gets an erection in his pants, it’s also called “pitching a tent”.
Bonnie: Oh my word! Okay, thank you for telling me. I’m oh so embarrassed! Should I go say something to him?
Me: No, no. I think it’s fine to just leave it be. (I raise the bag of trail mix from my hand and offer her a grab.) Nuts?
Bonnie: Well now you’re just rubbing it in.

That my friends, is why I love my work days.

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