Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Dr. Evildriver or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Boston Roads


Learned quite a few things about driving around Boston, Massachusetts this past weekend.

One: Don't travel to Boston on the weekend of the Boston Marathon. Furthermore, do not expect to be able to negotiate the city with roadblocks and numerous pedestrians. Pedestrians will not adhere to crosswalks or signals. Much like a squirrel running in front of you, be prepared to stop.

Two: The maps Enterprise Car Rental will give you are wrong. Bring (or in my case buy) a GPS system. And preferably, get it before the last day of your visit. Boston is notorious for either NOT displaying a road sign, camouflaging it, or making it generally impossible to figure out where you are. One way streets will change. Names of streets will change. You will end up in Southie before you know it.

Three: As soon as it turns green, you need to move. Otherwise, you WILL be honked at repeatedly. To offset the frustration, honk back with "shave and a haircut".

Four: A word about round-a-bouts... they are evil. The potential for fun is there, but until you get used to them, you may end up reenacting a Griswald European Vacation scene. Why this country has round-a-bouts, I have no idea. Boston is NOT a grid city and the City Planners should be reprimanded.

Five: Try to relax. Easier said than done, but high blood pressure and panic attacks aren't going to help when Tremont goes one way and Washington the other and there doesn't appear to be a cross street.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

I too don't like #1 - pedestrians in Beantown need to talk to pedestrians in the Big Apple about the risks associated with running out in front of cars!

As for rotaries (they're not roundabouts, we're no longer a British colony), they're a necessary evil. This is where our country was founded! Back then, if there was a big old rock, you built the road around it. There were no city planners. Enjoy the history and charm, while bracing yourself for a possible collision!

Moral of the story, driving in Boston is like jumping out of a plane. You lose all control and just need to enjoy the ride!!!

Karen said...

Sacramento has jumped on the roundabout bandwagon. Yes, that's right, the sprawling, urban metropolis that is Sacramento. Sacramentans are already bad drivers, but throw a roundabout at them and it just makes them even more confused. There are several in my neighborhood and almost daily I find myself cursing and yelling at the other drivers who don't seem to understand that "yield" is not the same as "stop". If you want people to stop, then just put up regular "stop" signs.