I'm not a great teacher

Hubster has cooked before, with "interesting" results. Since he taught me to clean weapons, I thought I would coach him through an easy Saturday meal and film it.

I think I said "Well you did it anyway" quite a few times. Not sure who is the better communicator and coach. I think I get frustrated really easily. I feel bad that I forgot his (deceased) Mother's first name. It was Anna Marie. I was thinking of his Aunt Mary. Either way, I botched that portion.

Haven't tasted it yet. A little bit concerned with the amount of salt he put in. At that point,  got frustrated and made him use canned tomatoes instead of having him cut fresh tomatoes an add them. But hey, that's why I have canned (no salt) tomatoes on hand.

5,000 peper towels were harmed during the filming of this production.

Permission to enter the Armory?

Had a (much needed) half day at work. Most girls go get their nails done. I learned to "field strip" a 1911 and a Ruger P95.

Here's the first video where Hubs teaches me about a .45

Instead of using words like receiver, intake, port, release spring and chamber... he would switch the words to "thingie". See if you can count how many times Hubs said "thing" or  "thingie".  Not so helpful. Not that I know what those things are anyway.

He said it was like field stripping guns and charades combined.

So here is the second video, where I learn how to clean another weapon. The funny part is looking at my facial expressions.


Jazz hands!!! And no, I don't want to clean any more guns.

Yay. Now that he has taught me how to drive a manual truck and field strip weapons I'm empowered and ready for the Zombie Apocalypse.

Real Eck Abode Convo #345

Me: (calling from work) Hi love of my life, what are you up to?
Hubs: I cleaned out the foyer closet!
Me: Oh yeah? That's awesome honey! That closet has been driving me crazy. It's so messy and cluttered. Thank you for doing that.  What did you do with the extra stuff?
Hubs: Oh, um... I moved it.
Me: Moved it?
Hubs: Yeah, it's been reappropriated.
Me: Nice use of a $2 word.
Hubs: Thank you. See you soon. 

(I get home, check out the foyer closet and then completely forget about the closet remainders. 2 hours later I go to the HALL closet to look for toilet paper.)

Me: OMIGOD THERE ARE DEAD BODIES IN OUR CLOSET! (running away) AHHHHHH!
Hubs: (giggles)

Now I know where our Halloween stuff is. 

Music Monday - With Arms Outstretched, Rilo Kiley

It's sixteen miles to the promised land, and I promise, I'm doing the best I can.



Bye-bye Weeds. I will miss you. 

Butterflies in the sky...

This morning I got to the gym early to get a treadmill walk in before boot camp. About one mile, so that was nice. Then headed to the other side of the building for Amazon Amy "I'm going to make you scream and cry in pain so deal with it bitches" workout. Mike was there along with the black couple, whose names I still don't know. Just the four of us... Sweet torture.

Crank cycles, bosu, medicine balls, trx... I made the mistake of looking at the clock only 20 minutes in. Had a pretty rad playlist that I made beforehand, lots of 80s rock and some 90s pop. Black dude sang along to Cheap Trick and Mike was crooned to Prince's "kiss" ... Not expected, but oooookay.

After the hour, we were all drained and sweaty. Got home and hubs decides it is way too pretty outside and we need to go for a bike ride. All right, looks like I'm getting in MORE exercise. We cruised up to Cemetary Hill, then across to the duck pond - which prompts the question, when is it a pond versus a lake? We followed the blue route on the greenbelt for 2 miles, then took a break and made our way back home. I. Was. Exhausted.

Along the ride we talked about dinner knives glued to the front of small motor boats, what kind of fish we would never eat, when a boy changes from a misfit to a hooligan, and Reading Rainbow.

In the ten years I have known Hubster, I never knew that he is ignorant to the sheer awesomeness of the PBS show Reading Rainbow. To say I was shocked is putting it mildly. I hopped on the iPad and showed him the intro, along with a few clips of kids book reports. He asked if the kids really read the books, or if they were actors. Good question! I always thought they were real kids who read the books. I could be wrong.

Then there was a video of Jimmy Fallon singing the song as Morrison of The Doors. Google it. I lost my lunch.

Just Act, Naturally

Because Parker Posey is awesome.
And so are ridiculous award acceptance speeches.


YOU LIKE ME! YOU REALLY LIKE ME!

Music Monday - Psy "Gangnam Style"

Thanks SNL. No really. Thank you for getting this shizz stuck in my head.
Most.
Random.
Song/video.
Ever.

1:57 hip thrust frightens me.

Wop em Gangdun sty!

Chopped! @ the Eck Abode

Ingredients to work with:

Loose leaf spinach

Smoked Oysters

Water Chestnuts

Slivered Almonds

Naan

Ground the almonds into a dust. 

Mixed the smoked oysters with canned salmon. Added egg to bind the ingredients, salt and pepper to taste.

Created salmon/oyster patties and coated with the almond dust. Tablespoon of oil in the cast iron skillet. 

Toasted the naan in the broiler to get it crispy. Made a mayonaise type spread. Layered on spinach.

 Carved the naan, placed the salmon on top of the spinach. Chopped water chestnuts and grouped onto the patty. 

Voila. Dinner is served. 

Oh HAI there Fall!!!

Went for a bike ride with the Hubster today, it was crisp and cool, with sprinkling rain.

I look like a nerd, but Hubs says its "to protect your big brain." Shake your money maker!

Work Art

Thanks JJ for my "Hang in There" kitty.

In the Last 24 Hours...

I realized that I HATE the song that NPR plays along with the Art&Seek spot. I don’t know what it is, but it’s horrible and annoying. Especially the end that goes “Woooo” “Woooooo”. Gag me.

Nyquil now just makes Quil. It’s basically a sleep drink without all the stuffy, aching, fever stuff. ZzzQuil!!! Be honest, you need to sleep and don’t feel like chugging down vodka, have some ZzzQuil!

I was behind a cop in line at Starbucks and asked him what the green epaulets were about on his shoulder. Apparently, green = 911 response guys and red = traffic cops. So if you get pulled over by a guy with red lines on his shoulders, you’re hosed. Green? You might have a chance. Nice guy. Free coffee and he still tipped a buck and waited in line like the rest of us.

Ford Prefect came by my cube and taught me how to find really cool weather stuff. More interesting though was that I learned his two brothers were Prefects AND Head Boys! Not so much for Ford… he wasn’t even a Prefect. Nor was he familiar with “Hitchhiker's Guide” because he was too busy making out with some bird to watch the BBC version. He is fantastic with voices (Kennedy and Sean Connery) and started calling me MoneyPenny. So he is forgiven.

Finally… I now have “Candy”.  I can say with absolute honesty that I did not steal it. Nor did I ask it to be downloaded illegally. And I WILL buy the single legally when it comes out in the USA as well as purchase the double, super, extra filled album from RW’s website.  Terribly sorry to the person who allegedly downloaded it and got a whole bunch of malware and viruses. 

Toodles.

Slightly baudy, my apologies, but worth the giggle.

Watching the latest Chopped episode, where the appetizer round features conch... I look over at Hubster and he's laughing uncontrollably.
"What? What is so funny?"
"it sounds like they are saying 'cock' , not 'conch'. I'm sorry, but this is hilarious!"

So I start to listen closer and realize that it is, in fact, ridiculously hilarious.
For example: (change all conch to cock)

It's time to present the appetizers that you made from conch.
This dish is conch chowder.
But the conch is tough and in large pieces.
I think if you cut up the conch, you'd have a completely different dish.
The spice of the sausage really bolsters the conch, but what I'm really dying here for is a little juiciness.
In my opinion there's too much of the conch.
I think they way you prepared the conch is the most tender prepared today.
Even though we cared and appreciated your attention to the conch...

Ah, entertainment that's free.

THIS IS bULL5|-|17

On a typical Wednesday, you would come to my blog and find a wrap up of last nights SYTYCD. I would be commenting on the lack of energy during the Nutcracker Suite ballet routine, or the OMFBALLS that number with the two guys and the music from District 13 which was striking! 

But no. 

Instead, I am completely frazzled because for some RIDICULOUS reason, iTunes USA does not have the new Robbie Williams single, "Candy", available for purchase! WHAT  THE FRAK!?!?! COME ON! Argentina can get it. Vietnam can purchase, no problem. LAOS and FRAKING Brunei can get this FRAKING SONG AND I CAN'T!!!>?!?! You know, Cuba and North Korea are the only two countries that don't sell coca-cola... BUT I BET THEY COULD BUY THIS SONG!

asdf;lkjasdf;lkjasdfkl;jasdfl;jksadfkl;'fdsjalk;'fdskaal;fdksl;fdklsa;fkdjls;fdksl;a!!!!!!!!

You can get THIS song on iTunes, but not Robbie Williams "Candy"?!?!

This is BULLShizz.

See RW sticking out his tongue here? That's pretty much what it feels like. "Hey G, you can't legally buy my new single. You'll have to wait for the album in November. HAHAHAHAHA"

You're kind of forcing me to get your song illegally Rob, do you realize this?

If the YouTube to Mp3 converter site had not been pulled, I would have already done it. As it stands, I have to wait for someone to upload it. I'm not saying I'll steal it... but it's that or I have to wait until the full album is available for purchase. 

*sigh*

Sorry Trish.

OMFG! MY NOT-SO-SECRET UBER CRUSH HAS A NEW SONG!!!

You know me, (or maybe you don't - so go with me on this,) I love Robbie Williams. I really do. He's my Elvis. My Beatles.  (Insert your very important person here - it could even be this guy.)

Smoochie boochiums Mister Gibb!

I love Robbie. I have all his albums, even the imports. I have his DVDs. I have books about him, I flew to Amsterdam to see him in concert. I had a poster over my bed of the Robster during COLLEGE! I do not believe the boyfriends I had during this period liked it very much, but I didn't care. I.... HEART.... RW! (updated: just remember that I had the poster on the wall of my closet through the first year of my marriage.)

Too make a long story short (too late) back in 2003 or so I had the amazing opportunity to meet him in person at a radio station interview/performance. He won't remember meeting me of course;  he was there in all his Rob-Glory, taking photos, signing autographs, kissing the girls - this was pre-wife of course - and yes, I got one of those kisses. Even more awesome is that Hubster was overseas fighting in that little Iraq thingy so it TRULY made my day.  (Hubster has since gotten over it... I think... how can you turn down a kiss from THIS guy?)

Amiright?!?

So imagine my SQUEEEEEEE when I heard he's releasing a new album! 

Here's the video for the first single.

First listen:
Great beat and bouncy. Oh, I want to work out to this one! I want to dance to it. I WANT TO BUY IT NOW AND LISTEN TO IT OVER AND OVER!

Second time:
Trying to get the chorus down.

Hey Ho. Here's she goes.
either a little too high or something blow 
no self esteem and vertigo (?)
and she thinks she's a pansy (?)
Hey Ho. Here we go.
a little too loud or a little too slow?
there's a hurricane in the back of her nose and 
She thinks she's made of candy (?)

Three times a charm!
You gotta love a song with brass. I'm so self-obsessed I think he's singing about me and I'm the girl he's angel shadowing. *sigh* Any whooooo, here's what I'm pretty sure the lyrics are:

Candy - Robbie Williams, lyrics

I was there to witness

Candice's inner princess

She wants the boys to notice

Her rainbows and ponies

She was educated

But could not count to ten

Now she got lots of different horses

By lots of different men and I say

Liberate your

sons and daughters

the push is high but

in the hole there’s water

You can get some

When their given

Nothing’s sacred

but it’s a livin’

CHORUS

Hey Ho. Here she go.
Either a little too high or a little too low
Got No self esteem and vertigo
Cause she thinks she's made of candy.
Hey Ho. Here she go.
a little too loud or a little too close
Got a hurricane in the back of her throat and

She thinks she's made of candy

Ring a ring a roses

Whoever gets the closest

She comes and she goes

As the war of the roses

Mother was a victim

Father beat the system

By moving bricks to Brixton

And learning how to fix them

Liberate your

sons and daughters

the push is high

but in the hole there’s water

as you wish

you’ll be the (unknown)

if it don’t feel good

what are you doing it for

now tell me

CHORUS

(repeat)

 
'Take The Crown' will be released on November 5th. 


* 'I' before 'E' except after 'C' ... and apparently 'H'.

Mashup Tuesday: Shark Garfunkel

This is hilariously messed up. Thanks Shirt Woot!
ttp://www.youtubemultiplier.com/504a89c36203a-bridge-over-very-troubled-water

Had to warn the workmates this morning. I'm feeling a little feisty and combative.   

Music Monday - "The Once and Future Carpenter" The Avett Brothers

If I live the life I'm given, I won't be scared to die. 

Belated Music Monday - City of Dreams by Alesso & Dirty South

Listening to this while cruising down the 101 in Santa Barbara = awesome sauce